Samantha Brick's tips for happy marriage - regular weigh-ins, home cooking, no headaches
SELF-CONFESSED "beautiful" journalist Samantha Brick has disclosed the secrets of a happy marriage: a strict clothing allowance, regular weigh-ins and never feigning a headache in the bedroom.
In a piece dedicated to praising the role of the “trophy wife”, the columnist claims she prefers to rely on her breadwinner French husband Pascal and keeps up her “lovely looks” as her part of the bargain.
Saying “I know my place in the home,” Ms Brick, who has previously complained all women hate her for her stunning appearance, vowed to produce two home-cooked meals a day, adding: “I wouldn’t dream of serving him up something from a packet”.
She said women who do not take her dedicated approach to their appearance should not be surprised if their husband strays, saying: “If a woman doesn't make an effort, it's perfectly logical that her husband will assume it's because she feels he's not worth making an effort for. Can you then blame a man for looking elsewhere?”
Ms Brick, who describes herself as a “consummate professional” in both the kitchen and the bedroom, warns: “I don't make the mistake of suffering from headaches when I'm between the sheets or feign sleepiness when my husband makes amorous advances.”
In a long list of vows she believes make her marriage perfect, she details how she would never “witter on about PMT or yell at him when I’m stressed”, and generously “massages his head and shoulders with lavender oil” each day before his afternoon siesta.
Suggesting all women should arrange their days around their husbands, she adds: “If I'm poorly I keep out of his way. I knew from the start he was ill-equipped to deal with me when I'm not bright and cheery.”
The couple, who have lived together in France for four years, have already been widely ridiculed after Ms Brick produced a series of controversial articles about her own appearance.
She has already maintained she is hated by all women for her looks, that French women are predatory and hostile, and that respected academic Mary Beard is “too ugly for television”.
In her latest opus for the Daily Mail, Ms Brick said she takes pride in her role as a “trophy wife” because “Pascal and are deeply in love and I adore being treated like a princess.”
She wrote: “My husband sets me a £250 allowance each month for my wardrobe, I ask his permission before booking a hair appointment and discuss with him what I will have done.
“He even has an opinion — which I adhere to — on how I dress and what I weigh. He prefers I wear classic ladylike attire and, at 5ft 11in, he insists I tip the scale at no more than 10½ stone. In fact, he's there when I weigh myself.
“At this point, many of you will be thinking I'm little more than a trophy wife for my husband, Pascal, and you're right. I am a trophy wife — and what's more, I'm proud of it.
“My day is organised around my husband: isn't that what all wives should do? I know my place in the home — in the bedroom or the kitchen, I'm a consummate professional.
“Having been married before, we both know about modern relationships — shouty, stressed wives trying (and failing) to do it all, husbands who stay out all hours to avoid the messy domestic scene at home, only convenience food on the table and growing resentment destroying the relationship.”
The article, published today, has provoked a backlash online.
One commentator wrote on Twitter: “Seriously, there is nothing wrong with having your husband being the breadwinner, but what Samantha Brick is describing is SLAVERY.”
A second said sardonically: “Samantha Brick, you’re my inspiration!”
Another added: “Oh, is she still talking?”
“Is Samantha Brick some kind of bizarre parody?” one wondered, while another advised: “Just stop, I'm embarrassed for you.”
Pascal Rubenat has previously said of his wife: “She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She is beautiful physically and beautiful in her mind. She is also strong. I am very lucky indeed to have her.”