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I'm still haunted: A survivor's tale

Kristian Kragh Lundø wanted to save the world; but that was a year ago. These days, mostly, he is trying to save himself. The 18-year-old is pursued by demons – well, one in particular that looms when he sleeps; threatens to return when he drops his guard. The trial of fanatical, right-wing gun and bomb attacker Anders Behring Breivik, beginning today, brings the prospect of healing; but also recollection of the horror he unleashed.

A year ago, Kristian, was a regular Norwegian teenager. His plans were no more ambitious than to enjoy a few sunny summer days at the small island of Utoya with his friends during a camp organised by the Norwegian Labour party. "We heard three shots fired, but like everyone else, we thought it was just someone making a bad joke," he says.







"Then we heard more shots and some youths came running towards us. I could tell how frightened they were by the terrified look on their faces. The sound of the shots came closer. Projectiles flew everywhere around me. I heard the buzzing sound that bullets make when they are really close to your body.







"In the period after the attack, I had trouble sleeping. When I slept, I had nightmares where memories from the island haunted my dreams. I realised that I had to take control over my own destiny if I wanted to move past what happened. That was an important step in handling the grief. I try to begin every day with a smile and with time it's gotten easier.







"I have visited Utoya once since the atrocities. I went back on the national memorial day a month after the attacks because I felt a need to. I wanted to show my parents where I had been. I needed to see the place where some of my friends had lost their lives."