Monday 19 March 2018

What might Alan Shearer’s diary from 15 years alone in the Premier League 200 club look like?

Wayne Rooney became the second player to reach 200 Premier League goals, with a goal against Manchester City.

Alan Shearer celebrates his 200th Premier League goal
Alan Shearer celebrates his 200th Premier League goal

By Max McLean

Alan Shearer’s 260 Premier League goals will take a while longer to reach, but he does have company in the 200-goal club for the first time.

Wayne Rooney’s opening goal against Manchester City saw the former Manchester United striker reach 200 in the Premier League, only the second man to do so, and Shearer was available to congratulate him.

The Newcastle United and Blackburn Rovers legend has been alone in the 200 club for more than 15 years – if he’d kept a diary all that time, what might it have looked like?

Alan Shearer joins the 200 club

20 April, 2002

Alan Shearer celebrates scoring his 200th Premier League goal

A 200th Premier League goal that keeps us on the road to Champions League qualification – what a day for me, Alan Shearer.

Hey, there’s plenty of room in here. The first player to score 200 PL goals… I’m sure I’ll be joined by someone shortly. That table tennis table in the corner will be pretty useless on my own.

I guess for now I’ll enjoy the peace and quiet – Andy Cole or Robbie Fowler will be along shortly.

Wayne Rooney scores against Arsenal

19 October, 2002

Everton's Wayne Rooney and Arsenal's Thierry Henry

Still waiting on some company, but it’s not bad in here! The pool table and dart board keep me well entertained, and there’s a Friends box set too.

A 16-year-old called Wayne Rooney just scored a belter against Arsenal – he’ll have quite a wait on his hands if he wants membership here!

Thierry Henry’s 30-goal season

15 May, 2004

Former Arsenal striker Thierry Henry

Just finished watching Friends for the second time – the thing I want to know is, how could Joey afford an apartment in New York on an actor’s salary?

Thierry Henry’s getting closer. Thirty goals the lad scored this season! I’ve been brushing up on my French, out of politeness.

“Bonjour, je m’appelle Alan.”

Michael Owen’s woes

2006 World Cup, Germany


Well, my table tennis serve is near perfect now. Nobody to return it, of course…

Robbie Fowler and Andy Cole have both slowed down, while Michael Owen’s done his knee in at the World Cup. I thought he might be the next member – perhaps he still will be. Perhaps I’ll have to wait.

I suppose I’ll just put the Friends DVD back in again.

Frank Lampard and Robin van Persie leave

Summer 2015

Former Chelsea midfielder Frank Lampard

Nine years have passed since my last diary entry. So many I thought might join me. Fernando Torres, Didier Drogba, Cristiano Ronaldo. Who knew being such a great striker could be such a curse? Not Alan Shearer, that’s for sure.

Frank Lampard and Robin van Persie. They’re leaving the league. They didn’t even ring me up to say goodbye. I had their name tags ready.

Meanwhile, Wayne’s slowing down in front of goal, and Louis van Gaal is looking to bring Anthony Martial in to take on the goals. He’s so young. He’s so far away from 200.

In goes the Friends box set. Again. “I’ll be there for you…”

Rooney arrives

21 August, 2017

Wayne Rooney scores for Everton against Manchester City

How you doin’? We were on a break! Smelly cat, smelly cat. Pivot! It’s just not the same after the 56th viewing.

But wait. Footsteps.

The door is opening.

It’s… it’s Wayne! Wayne! You made it! Here, grab a table tennis paddle mate. Check out this serve I’ve been working on…

Press Association

Today's news headlines, directly to your inbox every morning.

Editors Choice

Also in World News