Tuesday 16 October 2018

Humblings, hammerings and humiliations: Football’s own lexicon of losing

There’s more than one way to throw three points down the drain.

Liverpool score against Spartak Moscow in the Champions League - (Martin Rickett/EMPICS Sport)
Liverpool score against Spartak Moscow in the Champions League - (Martin Rickett/EMPICS Sport)

By Max McLean

Spartak Moscow were the unfortunate opponents for Liverpool’s second 7-0 win of this year’s Champions League group stage, but how should fans describe their defeat? Was it a hammering, a humbling, or a demolition?

The vocabulary involved is varied and subtle, with just one goal having the potential to completely rewrite the script. With that in mind, here’s your guide to the lexicon of losing.


You’ve been: Edged out

Alex Jones GIF by BBC - Find & Share on GIPHY

Your game will have been described as “tight”, “nervy”, and maybe even “on a knife edge”, but once that whistle blows all that counts is that you’ve been edged out.


You’ve been: Beaten

Lose GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

A good old-fashioned, standard defeat. You turned up, 90 minutes were played, and you lost. Probably deservedly.


You’ve been: Brushed aside

Robin Williams Dancing GIF by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment - Find & Share on GIPHY

Your fellow fans probably left early, while the opposition are likely to have celebrated their third goal in muted fashion.

Get over there, you’ve been brushed aside.


You’ve been: Thrashed

The Simpsons Fighting GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

The 4-0 scoreline is the green light for the more violent description – your side might have a few bumps and bruises after this one.


You’ve been: Hammered

Smashing Ron Swanson GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

You were never in this game, were you? At 5-0, your very preparation beforehand has come into question. You have been bashed about a fair bit as a result.


You’ve been: Humbled

Homer Simpson Dream GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

At 6-0 your opponents’ expertise becomes relevant – they’ve assessed you, worked you out for the chancers you are, and embarrassed you.

Gary Lineker tweets a joke about your performance – it receives 10,000 retweets.


You’ve been: Demolished

Building Demolition GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

A season-defining defeat that comes with this kick in the teeth: (SEVEN). The pundits earnestly question your place in the competition.

You’ve been reduced to rubble, brought to the ground, and robbed of your structural integrity – demolished.

8-0 +

You’ve been: Humiliated

Scared Real Housewives Of Orange County GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Eyebrows are raised. Sympathy supersedes criticism. You have been: humiliated.

Press Association

Today's news headlines, directly to your inbox every morning.

Editors Choice

Also in World News