Buckle up for this dad’s experience of joining a school trip to the Science Museum
‘My own daughter just made eye contact. It was sinister. Almost sure she just mouthed ‘You absolute mug’ at me.’
“Go on a school trip they said. Volunteer they said. IT’LL BE FUN THEY SAID…”
And so began one father’s descent into the dark and often smelly world of a group outing to the Science Museum for a class of 10-year-olds.
The dad, whose own daughter was also on the trip, had naively thought he would be reading in peace on the journey to the Kensington museum from Harlow.
But that was never going to happen.
Instead, Simon Smith was in prime position to live tweet his whole sorry day in charge of a small group of Year 5 boys, including one who took to calling him ‘Bruv’.
On the journey he was ridiculed for his football team choice, engulfed in farts and had to dish out sick bags. Lots of sick bags.
Simon took people along for one hell of a ride as he described the goings on in the bus, at the museum and back on the bus.
Some two hours after setting off, they made it to the museum for the main attraction.
Simon’s commentary included the escapade of eating lunch, taking his charges into the gift shop, a run through of snippets of overheard conversation and very little science.
By 1pm, Simon was done in declaring: “I’m not going to lie Twitter. I’m at my breaking threshold.”
Heading back to the bus, he tried, unsuccessfully, to explain away the smell of marijuana drifting past the group by blaming it on “the butterfly exhibition at the Natural History Museum”.
As the farty, smelly, sicky coach departed Simon had an outpouring of appreciation for the teaching profession and a realisation about his own job.
“Teachers and Teaching assistants. You have my utmost respect,” he declared.
As for if he’s about to volunteer again. It looks like a no.
And his own child might need new parenting options.
To read the whole story of Simon’s day on Twitter, start here.