Wednesday 21 February 2018

14 of the best jokes on the internet that aren’t disastrously offensive

Sit back and enjoy some one-liners – you deserve it.

Referee laughing
Referee laughing

By Edd Dracott

Reddit’s upvote system allows users to pick out the stuff they like, and the system turns the site into a veritable encyclopedia of the best of the best of the internet.

So we’ve trawled through the jokes subreddit to find out what’s ticking the internet. Here are 14 of the best…

1. If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks…

Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined – Donald_Garcia

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2. My wife left me because I’m too insecure

No wait, she’s back. She just went to make a cup of tea – vader1941

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3. I wish I could be ugly for one day

Being ugly every day sucks – Bogdan_52

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4. What has 4 letters, sometimes 9 letters, but never has 5 letters

Just a hint: I didn’t ask a question – Fojanratte

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5. Set your wifi password to 2444666668888888

So when someone asks tell them it’s 12345678 – Ninhnguyenz

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6. Dads are like boomerangs

I hope – YottaPiggy

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7. Breaking News: Bill Gates has agreed to pay for Trump’s wall

On the condition he gets to install windows – drugsondrugs

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8. Son: “Mom, Dad, I’m gay”

Mom: Stares at Dad

Dad: Clenches fist

Mom: “Don’t!”

Dad: Sweats Profusely

Mom: “…”

Dad: “HI GAY, I’M DAD” – iRyaaanM

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9. My dad died last year when my family couldn’t remember his blood type in time for paramedics to save him

As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive”, but it’s hard without him – OhGodAmIANiceGuy

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10. I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet

I asked my 18 brothers and sisters and they don’t know either – limex27

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11. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it…

…then my illegal logging business is a success – ChrisTaliaferro

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12. Communism jokes are not funny

Unless everyone gets them – Knot_Gay

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13. My girlfriend yelled at me today saying, “You weren’t even listening just now, were you?!”

I thought, “Man, what a weird way to start a conversation” – Childflayer

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14. My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it

We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer – dream-hunter

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If only gifs could make noise, two drums and a cymbal would have featured heavily in this article.

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