12 tweets from dads who are absolutely nailing this parenting lark
Or are they?
Happy Father’s Day! To celebrate steal a moment to read these tweets from dads who are sharing their parenting journey for our amusement.
1. Relaxation hack
— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) July 14, 2016
My kids hide in their rooms whenever I use the vacuum. Sometimes I just turn on the vacuum and lounge on the sofa.
2. He’s coming for you…
— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) April 5, 2016
Approaching a child with a comb is a lot like approaching someone with a chainsaw.
3. Independence is overrated
— ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) May 17, 2016
4yo: "Daaaaddy! I need your help! I'm in the bathroom! I tried to practice wiping my own butt!"
Me: "How'd it go?"
4yo: "Not too good."
4. Toddler v puddle
— Man vs Baby (@mattcoyney) May 25, 2017
Are all toddlers so bloody dramatic!? This is a picture of Charlie this morning, he'd just dropped his biscuit in a puddle. pic.twitter.com/sNyKdUbYSJ
5. Only answer the question
— ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) June 13, 2017
We have the most scintillating dinner conversations. pic.twitter.com/a3WQoekB56
6. Dad gets burned
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 19, 2015
5-year-old daughter: Why does Mom wear makeup?
Me: To look pretty.
5: But she's already pretty.
5: Dad, you should wear makeup.
7. It’s so they can easily attract bees
— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) April 1, 2016
With kids, I don't even ask why things are sticky anymore. I just assume everything is sticky. Sticky is now my default.
8. At least you can’t share socks? Can you?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 13, 2017
4-year-old: Can I have some of your candy?
Wife: I got this for Mother's Day.
4: You're only a mom because of me.
9. Focus on what’s important
10. Get them ready for the real world
— Whit Honea (@whithonea) June 1, 2015
Summer vacation can't come fast enough. I'm sick of waiting all day for the kids to unload the dishwasher.
11. School them in economics
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 7, 2015
5-year-old: I wish we all had infinity dollars
Me: That’d wreck the economy
5: I just-
Me: Go to your room until you understand inflation
12. Or rather get schooled in economics
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) January 11, 2014
My 4yo is trying to sell my own M&M's back to me. This guy's going places.