I don't much like brunch - it's boring. Nor traditional Sunday lunch out, because it's better at home. And as for afternoon tea at a hotel? Too much sugary stuff and not enough wine. Spare me.
All of which makes me think that the Sunday Experience at Aimsir Lounge has been designed especially for me.
Aimsir is one of three two-Michelin-star restaurants in Ireland and reservations are hard to come by. With distancing, the dining room now seats 16 people and there is not enough space for everyone who wants to go. Dinner costs €180 a head, which is good value for what you get but still a lot of money.
High-end restaurants all over the world have reinvented themselves during the pandemic. René Redzepi's Noma served burgers at outdoor picnic tables and Grant Achatz's Alinea in Chicago offers takeaways.
And Aimsir has introduced what the fashion folk might term a "diffusion" range, an entry-level taster - in this case, a literal one - of what the restaurant is all about. On Sundays, the offering is more evolved, and it turns out to be the seventh-day food outing of my dreams.
It's not raining (we brought the aimsir with us, haha) so four of us sit outside at a low table with a sofa and two chairs, from where we have a fine vantage point over the vegetable garden and orchard (where a woman walks a cat on a lead) and the bar (where a young couple canoodle between courses).
Blissfully, there are no choices to be made other than what to drink. And, happily, I've drawn the long straw that allows me to put myself in the hands of Majken Bech-Bailey and whatever wines by the glass she proposes. For the others there are plenty of non-alcoholic options, including the excellent Driver's Cider from Highbank Orchard in Kilkenny, and a house-made kombucha of beech leaf and elderflower, which we find a little lacking in funk.
Jordan Bailey's menu changes by the week so our dishes will not be the same as yours, although there may be some constants. First up are plums from the trees in front of us that have been treated as if they were olives and marinated in a garlicky rapeseed oil, and Dexter beef tenders smoked over whiskey barrels and deep-fried so that they puff up and look like prawn crackers but taste beefy. Trust me, they're good.
Then just-pulled radishes, leaves and all, and slices of crunchy kohlrabi with a creamy Young Buck cheese dip, followed by Flaggy Shore oysters - small, plump, sweet - spritzed with a dash of rhubarb juice and heather oil.
The individual Ballymore Organics heritage wheat soda breads - baked in rendered Dexter fat and served with luscious cultured butter - are one of Aimsir's signature dishes. Today they also come with a smoked herring pâté that we would have preferred to have more texture. It's a minor quibble.
Tasty house-made charcuterie - salami of Achill lamb, lardo that melts brazenly on the tongue, smoked duck with cherry powder - with foraged pickles and Alexander seeds is followed by meaty ray wings (the "extra dish" of the day), cooked on the bone in the wood-fired oven, with wild garlic, ramson capers and a soup-portion of foaming brown butter hollandaise that is as close to heaven as I'm likely to get this, or any, sabbath. The pièce de résistance (better than any pudding) is a whole Ballylisk Triple Rose - a creamy single-herd cheese from Armagh - between two that's had a quick chat with the grill before we drag a sprig of lavender dipped in fermented honey from Aimsir's own hives across it and pile it on stone-age seed bread from Majken's recipe.
The bill for four comes to €303.50 before service, including non-alcoholic drinks and three glasses of wine: the superb Alexandre Bain Mademoiselle M 2015 biodynamic Sauvignon Blanc from the Loire; the classy Róisín Curley Beaune 2017, and the new vintage Killahora ice wine from the hot summer of 2018 that's all caramelised apple loveliness.
ON A BUDGET
During the week, a snack of 'garden treats', bread or crackers, charcuterie with foraged pickles and preserves, and cheese, costs €18.50.
ON A BLOWOUT
The Sunday Experience is €45pp, with extra dishes, drinks and service on top.
THE HIGH POINT
Unpretentious and chilled, Aimsir Lounge is perfect for us Sunday curmudgeons.
THE LOW POINT
Someone has to drive.