Monday 20 May 2019

Kirsty Blake Knox: Eight completely frivolous facts about the royal wedding

From 'Crown Jewels' condoms to a €5K fragrance, Kirsty Blake Knox on our disgusting rapacious appetite for all things regal

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are set to walk down the aisle in May (Niall Carson/PA)
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are set to walk down the aisle in May (Niall Carson/PA)
Kirsty Blake Knox

Kirsty Blake Knox

There are some topics so intriguing no amount of trivial information can sate our disgusting rapacious appetite.

And the Royal Wedding 2.0 is a case in point.

Meghan and Harry must be aware of the interest in their big day because there has been a constant drip feed of tantalising morsels of gossip.

All of which are slightly surprising but not startlingly controversial. Enough to pique interest but not outrage.

This all comes as much needed light relief.

It's Sunday morning, suspend reality and read the most frivolous facts about the wedding.

Crown Jewels condoms | Photo via
Crown Jewels condoms | Photo via

1.  The spectre of King Henry VIII and his estranged and decapitated wife Anne Boleyn could haunt proceedings - according to the UK Daily Star's royal correspondent. Apparently, Henry VIII has a terrible temper and mediums are concerned he may make a scene at St George's Chapel.

2. There is an official fragrance. A bottle costs €5k and evokes "the warmth of a Mediterranean sea breeze, sunshine and shimmering water".

3. This week, Meghan has been credited with single-handedly bringing back bootcut jeans. So we can thank her for that.

4. Limited-edition royal wedding themed condoms (called The Crown Jewels - obviously) are now on sale. The container plays 'God Save the Queen'/'Star-Spangled Banner' when opened.

Related: 12 of the best props for your royal wedding viewing party 

5. There has been a 1,438pc increase in interest in properties in Slough, AirBnB says. Up until now Slough was best known for being the dreary setting of The Office. The glamour.

6. There's word Prince Harry is inviting three of his ex-girlfriends to the afters. Throw in Prosecco and it becomes a tinderbox.

7. The following songs are rumoured to be on the playlist; Montell Jordan - 'This is How we Do It'; Spice Girls - '2 Become 1' ; and Journey's 'Don't Stop Believin'.

8. After hearing Prince Charles brings his own toilet seat wherever he travels (a rumour he denies btw), Meghan's dad was snapped buying a new loo this week. The press suggested he's trying to keep up with the Joneses aka the Saxe-Coburg-Gothas.

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