It's been a good week for Meghan Markle, and not just because the racists were distracted by Morgan Bullock.
After weeks of vitriol about her ability to get a job in the real world, Meghan's shown us what she's made of. A few weeks ago she Zoom-bombed a kid on a call with a mentoring charity, to tell the girl she was a 'beacon of hope' and seemed 'incredibly confident and prepared' ahead of an internship interview. Last week we found out that the mentee got the internship. Take that, haters: Meghan is at least employable by proxy.
And then there was the PR masterpiece that was Archie's first birthday video - where Meghan read a story to her wriggling child as Harry filmed and interjected in a very dad-fashion.
It was done in one take, the child barely co-operated as one-year-olds are wont to do, and he wore a completely generic white vest - the likes of which we all wore and have bought in unremarkable packs of five. It was perfect. The haters were momentarily dumbfounded - how to turn this one around?
It was the first time many people felt they'd actually 'seen' her. Before Harry, Meghan was a consummate content-creator - it looks like her best bet might just be to do what she does best.
So far, my petition to Wikipedia to change Adele's entry to simply "British woman with a body whose body got smaller" is not going well.
I don't understand. It seems clear from the coverage last week that the stuff about winning 15 Grammys, 18 Billboard Awards, five American Music Awards, a Golden Globe, an Academy Award, nine Brit Awards and a Songwriter of the Year having sold over 120m records is completely irrelevant. Get it together, Wikipedia.
For the first time since Flatley, Irish dancing has gone viral. Morgan Bullock, a 20-year-old dancer from Virginia, uploaded a 13-second Irish dance to TikTok: it was very, very good; the soundtrack Savage by rapper, Megan Thee Stallion; Morgan is black, with long locks swinging down her back, she is wearing normal exercise gear.
It began to go viral because it's brilliant to watch, exuberant and expressive and unexpected and cool. It picked up speed, naturally, once the racists caught wind of it.
That Morgan, who has been Irish dancing for 10 years and competed in the World Irish Dance Championships four times, had the gall to Irish dance on the internet sent the racists reeling (sorry).
They wouldn't quite come out and say: "Irish dancing is for white people," but we got the gist. That 'Irish' is neither a colour, nor a race, is irrelevant, that black people have been born into nearly every culture on earth is irrelevant, that Irish and African song and dance mixing has a long history is irrelevant: the message was clear, Irish dancing is not for people who look like her.
Then came the closet-racists, the edgy white smart-arses who thought it was devastating to point out that if "we're not allowed to have dreadlocks because it's 'cultural appropriation' then a black American girl Irish dancing is cultural appropriation too so you're all hypocrites, gotcha!"
How will the snowflakes recover from that logic bomb?!
Cultural appropriation is about benefiting from a culture while dehumanising it. It is theft of a minority culture by an oppressor: which means that black people, who have been forcibly colonised and scattered across the globe, can't really do it. It's not one of those 'vice versa' things.
Appropriation hurts in real ways. I can't believe I need to say this, but what Morgan is doing is neither economically or psychologically harmful.
Irish dancing is a sport with international competitions. It's difficult to see how participating in a sport can be appropriative. In fact, I can't think of a single time that it has been. If cultural appropriation is about consent, Ireland can't say that it hasn't consented to Irish dancing thriving across the globe.
To think that a young black woman in Trump's America knows less about contemporary identity and race politics than you do is breathtaking and racist.
But back to Morgan, and her video's ebullient reminder that culture, thank God, is a living thing. She's been invited to next year's St Patrick's Day parade by the Taoiseach (who, for all his failings, knows an icon when he sees one) and what an appearance that would be. The Irish internet was rife with women who wish they'd seen it when they were younger, who mightn't have given up dancing after all. Morgan's TikTok showed the tantalising possibility of Irish dancing that's more expressive, more spontaneous, more personal - and not, as one Twitter user put it, "an exercise in obedience". The latter won't survive in the TikTok generation, for whom self-expression is a moral right. It's not something that would have caught the attention of king-maker Tina Knowles (mother of Beyonce, the original momager) as this did.
Morgan fell in love with Irish dance as a 10-year-old because it was 'fun to watch' and dreamed of being in Riverdance - something RTE report is now going to happen. She has an eye for making it fun and accessible - the kind of thing that could see Riverdance last another 25 years. Nostalgia and irony can only get you so far: Morgan and her like could be an incredible asset to the sport and culture.
So by all means, racists and racists-in-denial, Irish and Irish-American alike: die on the hill of 'traditional' mad wigs, €1,000 dresses and drag-make-up on children if that's really what you feel. But I don't think you care about the dancing.