Do you have a candle that smells like books? Bloomsbury hardbacks, specifically. I would like a candle that smells like opening a brand new Harry Potter some time after midnight on the release day.
I want it to smell a bit of Cork's Patrick's Street pavement on a summer night.
I want a candle that smells like old books too: a 50-year-old Children's Britannica. I want a candle that smells like bonfire, rolling tobacco, guitar strings.
Do you have a candle that smells like hot scones that were wrapped in greaseproof paper and foil, before taking a trip on an Aer Lingus flight and opened, still warm, on the other side?
I want a candle that smells like a drawer of old photographs, Polaroids of lanky, impossibly young men, in flat caps and high trousers, leaning on a farm gate: that's your great-uncle.
I want a candle that smells like Elnett hairspray, and a room where five girls have just got ready for a night out.
Do you have a candle that smells like an Ordinance Survey map, or the Argos catalogue? A candle that smells like manure; that smells like a brewery chimney; that smells like an anorak pocket of beach pebbles; that smells like a full bus in the cold; that smells like tent, or warm white wine, or tarmac, or clammy monkey bars and suncream.
Do you have any candles that smell like my best friends' school jumpers in 2006? I want a candle that smells like the bit of smoke when you blow out a candle, or fresh beermats and drip-tray.
I want a candle that smells like petrol, or a borrowed lifejacket; or a toddler's hands; or the block of terrible, thrilling heat when you step out a plane's doors somewhere sunny.
I want a candle that smells like an intensive care unit; a candle that smells like exam papers, and the band of soft metal around the rubber on the end of a pencil.
I want a candle that smells like me, to see if I could smell it. I want a candle that smells like thousands of strangers.
Now that the cosmetic doctors are back in business, we're seeing a lot of very bruised and puffy faces around. We know the hiatus was long and hard, but easy does it, people. Less is still more when it comes to filling and freezing.
Sunday Indo Life Magazine
Dads haven't had the most fashionable reputation. Indeed, the word 'dad' is typically used as a pejorative, tacked on to indicate that what is being described is dowdy, embarrassing and uncool. Consider: dad jokes, dad bod, dad dancing and so on.