Tuesday 23 January 2018

How much do I hate Kim Kardashian? Let me count the ways

Kim Kardashian
Kim Kardashian
Kim Kardashian attends the Siran Presentation At Hotel Plaza Athenee as part of the Paris Fashion Week Womenswear on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pierre Suu/Getty Images for Siran)
(L-R) Kim Kardashian West and Kourtney Kardashian arrive at the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
Kim Kardashian, Kanye West with North West and Saint West are spotted in the Upper East Side on August 29, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Alo Ceballos/GC Images)
Kim Kardashian attends the Givenchy show as part of the Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2017 on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images)
Kourtney Kardashian and Kim Kardashian West attend Buro 24/7 Fashion Forward Initiative as part of Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2016 at Hotel Ritz on September 30, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images for Buro 24/7)
(From L) Kim Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, Kris Jenner and Corey Gamble attend the Off-white 2017 Spring/Summer ready-to-wear collection fashion show
Kim Kardashian was been held up at gunpoint in a Paris hotel room by masked men dressed as police officers

Alison Pearson

How much do I hate Kim Kardashian? Let me count the ways. I hate her to the width of her preposterous posterior and the snow-globe swelling of her bumptious boobs. How many bees were sacrificed to sting those swollen lips or whales boned to sculpt those hour-glass hips?

For turning conspicuous consumption into an art form, for making Narcissus look only mildly self-obsessed, for saying female empowerment is photographing your own backside (LOL!), for fame without talent and shopping without end, for being the mirror in which a billion young girls look and find themselves plain, for all these do I loathe thee, Kim.

Of course, you wouldn't wish an armed robbery on anyone. Not even someone daft enough to post a picture on Instagram of themselves wearing a €4m diamond ring.

Security experts believe that the reality TV star's obsession with social media updates, allowing fans to keep track of her every movement, may have helped the masked gang that ransacked her luxury Paris apartment.

(L-R) Kim Kardashian West and Kourtney Kardashian arrive at the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
(L-R) Kim Kardashian West and Kourtney Kardashian arrive at the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)

When your whole blingtastic existence is dedicated to showing off how rich you are, then greedy, unscrupulous men trying to get their hands on your bling is regrettable, but hardly surprising.

If you are one of the few people left on Planet Earth lucky enough to be able to ask "Who is Kim Kardashian?"; if, that is, you don't take a newspaper with celebrity pages or have, perhaps, been living in a nuclear bunker on mung beans for the past 10 years, then let me enlighten you.

Kim first bounced to prominence when a sex tape of the pneumatic one and her then boyfriend went viral on the internet.

In 2007, her entire family offered themselves up for public delectation in a reality series, 'Keeping Up With the Kardashians' (KUWTK).

Kim Kardashian, Kanye West with North West and Saint West are spotted in the Upper East Side on August 29, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Alo Ceballos/GC Images)
Kim Kardashian, Kanye West with North West and Saint West are spotted in the Upper East Side on August 29, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Alo Ceballos/GC Images)

Should you wish to know what it feels like to have your frontal lobe deep-fried, I can highly recommend it.

Kim is the second daughter of Robert Kardashian, who was one of OJ Simpson's lawyers during his notorious trial and acquittal.

In retrospect, OJ was the perfect appetiser for the Kardashians.

With frightening speed, the question of whether the football player was a wife-murderer became secondary to public fascination with his flight from justice, in a white Ford Bronco, played out in real time.

Literally anything is legitimate fodder for KUWTK. That includes the gender reassignment of Bruce Jenner (now known as Caitlyn), who is Kim's stepfather/mother, but may be having second thoughts.

After TV hit shows 'Kourtney and Kim Take Miami', 'Kourtney and Khloe Take the Hamptons', producers must be rubbing their hands at the prospect of 'Kim Taken Hostage in Paris'.

(From L) Kim Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, Kris Jenner and Corey Gamble attend the Off-white 2017 Spring/Summer ready-to-wear collection fashion show
(From L) Kim Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, Kris Jenner and Corey Gamble attend the Off-white 2017 Spring/Summer ready-to-wear collection fashion show

In fact, such is the cynicism surrounding allegedly fabricated 'reality' scenes that critics have dared to suggest the Paris heist was faked to grab attention.

Surely not!

But I digress.

All of this would just be a storm in an E-cup, were it not for the fact that Kim Kardashian has become a phenomenally influential figure for young women of my daughter's generation.

Approaching her 36th birthday, Kim has 84 million followers on Instagram, 48 million on Twitter and is a walking, pouting product placement.

If a Kardashian wears it, girls buy it, even the 'waist-training corset' designed to bully a normal female shape into the cartoon character that is Kim. Put it this way, it was not a huge surprise when Kim's first book, a collection of selfies by Kim of Kim, was entitled 'Selfish'.

Why should those of us who are older, wiser and not on Instagram give a damn about this vacuous Betty Boop?

Because of disturbing surveys like the one published by the British Girl Guides this week, which says that girls as young as seven feel under pressure to have "the perfect body".

Two-fifths of girls between the ages of seven and 10 think they "need to lose weight" at a time when plump little infant bodies need strength to stretch and bloom. Kicking in younger and younger, those gnawing feelings of inadequacy soon harden into self-loathing.

Over the past five years, there has been a horrifying increase in the number of girls, aged from 17 to 21, who say they are dissatisfied with their appearance.

It was 36pc in 2011; today, it's half of our lovely young women who can't stand the way they look.

Make no mistake, it is invidious comparisons on social media and the cult of selfie-taking that are driving the epidemic of mental-health problems among adolescents.

When a quarter of 16- to 24-year-old females in England are depressed, anxious and cutting and gouging their flawed selves, you know that we are living in a desperately sick society.

Lately, that sickness has reached my own home. I would say more, but it would mean heaving my heart into my mouth and I'm not ready to do that.

I truly long for the day to come when millions of girls will turn away from the hologram of perfection projected by preening narcissists.

When they don't go on holiday and digitally alter their bikini photos to look skinny and busty at the same time.

Just before the robbery in Paris, Kim Kardashian told half a billion Twitter followers: "Think I'm gonna wear no make-up today to the Balenciaga show."

Pictures that day show Kim with perfectly filled-in brows, impossibly long black lashes, flawless complexion and what seems an awful lot like lip gloss.

And this is "no make-up", which vulnerable teenagers will look upon and despair.

How do I hate thee, Kim Kardashian?

You and others like you who have imprisoned the most liberated generation of young women who ever lived in a distorting hall of mirrors.

The selfie is not a substitute for a self. Reality TV is a lie. Waists do not need training.

Kim Kardashian had €10m of jewellery stolen from her.

What has been taken from the girls who try and fail to copy her? That is beyond price.

Telegraph.co.uk

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