Wednesday 13 December 2017

Comment: 'I don’t normally fancy fat girls, but you’ve got a nice face'

Amy Molloy

Amy Molloy

I always thought a compliment was meant to make you feel good about yourself.

Sitting in the smoking area of some questionable Amsterdam nightclub with my friends, a stranger approaches me.

The mood up until then had been one of laughter and enjoyment, as it should be on a weekend away in your mid-twenties.

And with one sentence, I was holding back a river of tears that came without warning, without provocation.

The stranger who just confessed that “I don’t normally fancy fat girls, but you’ve got a nice face” is staring at me with a bewildered look.

“Why do you look so sad, it’s a compliment,” he shrugs.

Like lions to fresh meat, my three amigos swiftly told Holland’s answer to Romeo where he could shove his sweet nothings.

Intent on not letting it ruin the night, I put it to the back of my mind and did what most Irish people do when something upsets them – went to the bar and ordered another drink.

Make it a Diet Coke this time, yeah pal.

It’s been almost a week since that little incident occurred and the more I’ve grappled with it, the more it’s bothered me.

Why did this random soul feel the need to interrupt our night?

I hadn’t insulted him, I didn’t reject him – those are the usual prerequisites for a guy berating a girl about her weight.

I'm thickskinned about most things in life, but I always struggle to understand the mindset of people who feel the need to be spontaneous arseholes.

In the generation which gave birth to the internet and trolling, are the infamous keyboard warriors suddenly making their way onto the streets?

This wasn’t the first time I’ve been insulted about my weight, and it probably won’t be the last.

I’ll admit I’m packing a few extra pounds.

That’s to be expected when you drink Desperados like a bottle of Ballygowan and consider exercise a form of torture.

I’m not entirely happy with my appearance, but what girl is.

People say that your clothes being loose on you is an indication you’ve lost weight.

Unfortunately in my case it’s actually because my jeans aren’t able to fit over my arse any more, but sure there’s no point crying about it.

I know I’ll lose it again because I’ve done it before; I’m just waiting until the first Monday in January to start…

Every girl will receive hurtful remarks about their weight at some point in their lives – even those fresh off the Victoria Secrets runway.

I once dated a guy who told me I had a great personality and a beautiful face, but felt it wouldn’t work out in the long run as I was “insecure about my weight and it was holding me back”.

Translation: I would fancy you if you weren’t a little chubster.

The people, who try pass off their insults and hurtful comments as compliments, are worse than the blunt assholes who just say it outright.

Physical attraction is a big part of relationships, and if you don’t float a person’s boat, then so be it.

This article wasn’t written because I’m looking for sympathy, or just felt like having a rant, it was more so to advise people to think before they say.

Don’t feel the need to tell a girl she is carrying a few extra pounds, because guess what, she already knows.

And if you can’t find her attractive in that format, then politely f*** off and talk to someone that you do.

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