Friday 24 November 2017

Top Models - the biggest names on the runway

Bella Hadid
Bella Hadid
Gigi Hadid
Cara Delevingne
Kaia Gerber
Jasmine Tookes

Pat Fitzpatrick

As we look at the next wave of top Irish models, our reporter casts an eye over some of the biggest names on the runway right now


Sounds like a cross between an Italian and a Lebanese restaurant, says you, going for two racial stereotypes. Bella landed the Victoria's Secret runway gig this year. She'll be in Paris, walking through a group of strangers, in her knickers. Models call that a dream job. Everyone else calls it a recurring nightmare. Of course, in the Irish version, you are on your way to do Irish, Paper One, in the Leaving Cert. And your mother is in the crowd saying, "She was actually quite thin as a teenager".


Bella's big sister. Well, older sister. She's a top model, so we can all agree the word 'big' doesn't really come into it. Kudos to whoever picks the model-friendly names in the Hadid household. There was never any chance one of them would get called Bernadette. (Lucky Hadids). It's just a pity one of them wasn't called Ive. "Ive Hadid with you?" "I've had it with you, too. We're finished." "No, sorry, I mean Ive, one of the Hadid girls - is she with you?" "Well, this is awkward."


Cara recently ended a long-distance relationship with her partner, St Vincent. She got tired of all the back and forth to heaven. (Sorry.) Only to find her partner acting the martyr. (Make it stop.) St Vincent is, in fact, the stage name of the cool American singer-songwriter, Annie Clark. You can see why she changed her name. Annie Clark is about as avant-garde as going to a Country and Irish gig in a pair of action slacks.


Modelling. It's not who you know. It's who you look like. And Kaia looks very like her mother, Cindy Crawford. Of course, looks alone aren't enough to get ahead in the modelling game. You need to be flexible and easy to work with. How else do you think Naomi Campbell made it to the top? Fifteen-year-old Kaia's latest photo shoots have been described in various quarters as edgy. That's the term fashion people use when they don't want to say borderline creepy.


She wore the $3m emerald-and-diamond Fantasy Bra at this year's Victoria's Secret show. You can just imagine men fantasising about it. I undo the clasp, and slowly slip it off the beautiful model. I whisper, "Close your eyes, I have a surprise for you." I leg it out the door, googling the term "how to sell a stolen diamond bra without getting caught". I'll never have to work again. Oh baby. Wait until I tell the lads.

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