Sunday 21 January 2018

You're dumped! 20 ways to leave your lover

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver
Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, who seems to be saying, 'I'm Britney's short-term husband number two'
Katie Price and Alex Reid

Joe O'Shea and Charlie Cooper

A British MP broke up with his wife during a football match. But at least he didn't do it by fax. Joe O'Shea and Charlie Cooper on other unusual splits

If you are a high-profile politician planning to leave your wife of 25 years for your bisexual aide, it's probably not a good idea to break the news to the missus during half-time of a World Cup match.

British cabinet minister Chris Huhne certainly could have picked a better moment to let his wife, the economist Vicky Pryce, know that he was leaving her and their three children for his mistress.

And Huhne, a Liberal Democrat and Energy Secretary in the UK's coalition government, could hardly have expected her to keep quiet about the bombshell he dropped during half-time of an England World Cup game last summer.

"I came down to have something to eat," Huhne's now ex-wife told BBC radio's World At One programme this week.

"And my husband came in and told me that he had been found out by the press for having an affair and he was about to make a statement before they exposed him."

Even in the world of British politics, with its long tradition of husbands behaving badly, Huhne's abrupt, ad-break-in-the-football announcement has earned him instant cad status.

His now ex is planning her own revenge, she has talked of entering politics and says she would like to be Britain's chancellor of the exchequer, which would not be good news for Huhne's career.

But at least the minister can count himself in good company -- when it comes to breaking up, from the rich and famous to the relatively ordinary, there are at least 20 ways to leave your lover.

1 Live on television

Katie Price broke the news that she was considering ditching Alex Reid during an interview on I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! In 2009.

2 With a Very Public Row

TV presenter Glenda Gilson broke up with her property-developer boyfriend Johnny Ronan during what onlookers said was an almighty bust-up outside a pub in Ranelagh, Dublin, in early 2010. Johnny then took his wounded pride off to Morocco, with Rosanna Davison and another female friend, on a private jet.

3 Via text

Kevin Federline, Britney Spears's ex-husband, got the news about their divorce through a text. His reaction was caught on camera by a TV crew.

4With a sensitive fax Honorary Irishman Daniel Day-Lewis reportedly dumped French actress Isabelle Adjani by fax -- after she told him she was pregnant. Nice.

5 On Oprah

Matt Damon told Oprah that he and Minnie Driver were no longer together. It was said to be the first Minnie had heard of it.

6 Get lost and legless

Richard Harris gave his first wife, British aristocrat Elizabeth Rees-Williams, many years of trouble (on hearing that her daughter was to be married to the Irish actor, Rees-Williams's mother is said to have run screaming from the room).

The final straw came when the Limerick actor, once again, got lost and legless, turning up outside a complete stranger's house in Leeds in the early hours of the morning.

The man of the house recognised the film star and invited him inside.

However, after four days of carousing with Harris, he eventually rang the star's wife. "I've got your husband here," said the man.

"Good, keep him", replied the soon-to-be ex-Mrs Harris.

7 Throw his/her clothes out the window

It was all over for Ronnie Wood and young girlfriend Katia Ivanova after a slanging match outside their London home. Ronnie reportedly tipped her clothes out the window.

8 Cryptically

Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman; Cruise's statement read: "Nicole knows why." He dodged questions about it, while Kidman was still asking what went wrong.

9 Sleep with the staff

Maria Shriver moved out from the marital mansion after Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted he fathered a child with a household staffer.

10 Don't crash the car

Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren split, prompting reports of affairs with at least 14 women. He crashed his car after an alleged row.

11 Claim the marriage was illegal

Mick Jagger had his nine-year marriage to Jerry Hall annulled when it was found that their Hindu wedding on the island of Bali was invalid.

12 Become a Scientologist

Jennifer Lopez's marriage break-up from husband Marc Anthony was reportedly because of arguments over the singer's alleged Scientology beliefs.

13 Write a cult hit song slapping them off

It's still a mystery exactly whom Carly Simon's "You're So Vain" is about. Mick Jagger and David Bowie have all been rumoured. One thing's certain -- they're dumped.

14 Spend your sixth anniversary in a hot tub with another woman That's what Ashton Kutcher allegedly did to Demi Moore (though he denies it). Rumours of divorce followed.

15 Get a cuddly toy to deliver the message

An American company called Break Up Bears claims to offer a service sending doleful toy bears bearing 'Dear John' letters in satchels.

16 Leave the country

Julia Roberts jumped ship, ending up in Dublin just days before her planned wedding to Kiefer Sutherland.

17 In a hospital ward

US presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich visited his wife in hospital after she underwent surgery for cancer -- to discuss the terms of their divorce.

18 On Valentine's Day

It's bound to happen -- with all the pink and red and flowers, who wouldn't be sick of love. Kelly Osbourne reportedly got her marching orders from youthful beau Bert McCracken on 14 February.

19 Move out without telling your partner

According to the actress Laura Dern, she returned home from time away filming in 2000 to find her boyfriend Billy Bob Thornton had left her for Angelina Jolie.

20 With a massive sign on a telegraph pole

A mystery man dumped his lover with a series of signs on telegraph poles in Sydney. The first said: "Jennifer, will you marry me?"; the second sign said: "Only joking, we're breaking up."

Irish Independent

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