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Why are men so bad at sexting?

As the internet continues to mock Adam Levine’s alleged attempts at sexting, Matthew Neale attempts to unravel why men are quite so bad at typing out their erotic sweet nothings

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Adam Levine

Adam Levine

Adam Levine

Picture the scene. It’s New Year’s Eve, and you’ve just stepped away from the clamour of the coked-up boys and their NFT portfolios to get some air outside. A stranger comes out to join you, and you feel the grip on your Aldi prosecco tighten a little when you notice how handsome he is. Minutes pass in seconds. Something wild and intoxicating is in the air, louder than the EDM playlist and thicker than the plumes of cigarette smoke. Then it happens: he leans in slowly, places his hand awkwardly on the small of your back, and whispers those seven little words in your ear: “I may need to see the booty.”

Now that we’ve all resoundingly dunked on Adam Levine and his allegedly extramarital sweet nothings, perhaps it’s time to draw a line under it. Are the memes fantastic? Of course. Does repurposing the messages in the context of a real-life conversation make for a passable opening hook to an article on sexting? The jury’s out. But do phrases like “that body is absurd” and “it is truly unreal how f***ing hot you are” really represent a terrifying new plateau of societal cringe? Come on. Let’s be honest: if a comprehensive transcript of all your horny correspondence was published, would you stand by every word of it?


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