Sunday 18 February 2018

Top tips for better sex

Oonagh Montague

For women

Once a day take a mental five-minute "sex break". Enjoy a fantasy or steamy memory without guilt.

To enhance the above, do your pelvic floor exercises at the same time.

Go to bed earlier together -- learn to make it the place you read, relax and chat.

Find time to 'self-care'. Be it gardening, walking, reading, a bubble bath, joining a choir, watching your favourite programme with no interruptions -- write this time in stone into your weekly schedule.

This is crucial to your emotional health and will begin to have a positive effect on your attitude to sex.

For men

Look into her eyes more often.

Play footsie with your partner under the table. Give her a massage that doesn't end in sex.

Take a day to notice how often you touch your partner affectionately.

"One of the predictors of a woman's marital satisfaction is how affectionate her husband is." Hugging even lowers blood pressure.

It may seem like you are simply being playful when you grab your other half in the kitchen, but chances are she doesn't see it that way. Try something like a soft kiss on the neck instead.

Men are microwaves and women are slow-cookers -- remember that.

For couples

Spend quality time together. Time that has nothing to do with sex. This could be as simple as sharing what happened during your day, taking a walk, listening to music together, a slow dance in the kitchen, sharing a shower. Reconnect with each other.

Talk to each other about sex. As one client says in 'A Tired Woman's Guide To Passionate Sex': "If we spent half as much time talking about what we should do about sex as what we should do about dinner, we would be in good shape!"

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