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The ten best seduction techniques


Jerry Hall plays the infamous seductress Mrs Robinson in the West End production of The Graduate. Photo: Getty Images

Jerry Hall plays the infamous seductress Mrs Robinson in the West End production of The Graduate. Photo: Getty Images

Jerry Hall plays the infamous seductress Mrs Robinson in the West End production of The Graduate. Photo: Getty Images

From expensive dining to a simple smile, we show you how to win over your date.

Sticky Eyes

When you are talking to your quarry, let your eyes stay glued to his or hers a little longer than necessary - even during silences. A gaze that lingers awakens primal, slightly disturbing feelings. It induces the same "fight or flight" chemicals that race through our veins when we feel infatuation. When you must look away, do so reluctantly. Drag your eyes away slowly. This is a particularly good technique for men to use, as women always want to feel that a man is absolutely fascinated by them.

The Visual Voyage

As you and your date are chatting, let your eyes do some traveling - but only on safe ground at first. Take a visual voyage all over his or her face, concentrating on their eyes. If he or she seems to be enjoying your expedition, take small side trips to the neck, shoulders and torso. For girls, take sneak peeks at his body - and when he sees you pretend you are a little embarrassed. This should really get his juices flowing and is a great way to get a friend to think of you sexually. For the man this technique is a little more dangerous, so be wary. If your eyes travel too far south for too long you'll be in trouble.

Expensive Dining

This is good for a gentleman who intends to pick up the bill on the first date. Make sure you take your date to an expensive restaurant with an atmosphere like the one you wish to project - be it elegant, upbeat, cool or arty. Atmosphere is important because she will transfer her feelings about the room to you. It may be superficial, but women tend to judge a man on the first place he takes them.

Dress to Impress

Even when seeking only a casual liaison, do not go out dressed like an unmade bed. Dress as though you were auditioning to be his or her husband or wife. Men must make sure they are coordinated and dress affluently: women love good quality clothes on men. Women need to dress alluringly but not in a cheap way. He is going to mentally undress you anyway, so there is no need for that short skirt. However, you might want to try a slightly more revealing second layer of clothes so that you can, at the right moment, take off that jacket and reveal some wonderful cleavage.

Give First Date Butterflies

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When planning your first date, find out what pulls your date's strings, and then plan an arousing, emotional adventure. You don't have to go sky-diving, but a little shared danger is a proven aphrodisiac. A scary movie is an easy way to achieve this - or perhaps ice-skating, where the woman may be nervous and might have to hold on tight. Afterwards, go out for dinner or a drink to discuss your shared experience.


To capture your quarry's heart, you need to share his or her convictions and show that you feel them deeply. Watch his or her reactions to outside stimuli, then show the same emotions - shock, disgust, humour, compassion, etc. This is particularly important for men, who are more inclined to misjudge situations. Make sure your reactions suit the mood.


A simple but crucial technique. A smile is the most effective form of body language and a great way to let somebody know that you are interested in them. As you are looking at or talking to a member of the opposite sex whom you wish to seduce, let a soft smile of acceptance frame your lips. Don't give too quick a smile: just let a slow one float over your face. This will seem much more genuine - while making your romantic intentions obvious.

How do you feel about that?

A good tip for men: pluck up some courage and, whatever your quarry is discussing, simply ask her, "How do you feel about that?" It might seem awkward at first, but woman love to talk about how they feel and will nearly always respond enthusiastically. Women, on the other hand, should wait until a relationship is on stable ground before asking a man much about his feelings - otherwise there is a danger of rocking the boat before it is launched.

Let Your Quarry Pass an 'Audition'

Men should not ask a woman out too soon, lest she think you are interested only in her looks. The ideal time to ask a woman for a date is when she has said something relevant to her personality. For example, if she says something spiritual, say that you'd love to hear more about that, perhaps over dinner. A woman values interest all the more if she feels that you appreciate her inner qualities. Women, meanwhile, can move faster, as men are less afraid of being treated as sex objects.

Have the First Laugh

Another obvious but important technique. Women: make sure you laugh at your quarry's jokes and, when in a group, be the first to laugh. It brings you closer together. Men should try and introduce cute private jokes to create a bond between the two of you. This will help to make you seem like long-time lovers rather than first-date strangers.

Chosen by Leil Lowndes, author of 'How to Make Anyone Fall in Love With You'.

'How to Make Anyone Fall in Love With You: 85 Proven Techniques for Success' - £8.99, by Leil Lowndes, is published by Element

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