Saturday 16 December 2017

So, do older men make better lovers?

YES - Personal trainer Maija Rumjanceva (30), of BodyByrne Fitness, lives in Dublin with her partner Stephen Mahon (40). Despite their 10-year age difference, celebrity trainer Maija -- originally from Latvia -- reckons they're perfectly paired.

"I met Stephen when he came to the gym for training and we've been together for just over a year. At first, I think he was a little bit afraid to tell me what age he was -- that I wouldn't be interested. But I've always dated older men.

"My last two boyfriends were both 10 years older than me. And I even joke with my friends: 'I don't do boys!' Maturity is important to me in a relationship. And since guys normally mature much later than girls, by dating an older man you're just levelling the playing field.

"I wouldn't be interested in a guy my own age. In my experience, they're only interested in partying. You can't rely on them. Growing up in Latvia, you start going to discos and drinking quite young. So by the time I was 25, I was sick of it.

"Even though I'm the younger one, often I'll be the one who wants to sit in and Stephen the one who wants to go out. He is a much more considerate partner than any of the younger men I've dated. He's understanding, reliable and honest. He has a very successful career and is extremely settled. Having been married before, he knows what he wants from a relationship.

"We've discussed our future -- in fact, Stephen is the one who brought up buying a house together and having babies. I wouldn't even mention those things to a guy my own age because it would probably scare him off!

"Sometimes I tease him about being an old man, but he knows I don't mean it. I definitely think older men make better boyfriends. Stephen has me spoilt -- I'd never date a younger man again."

NO

Wine may get better with age, but men don't argues Jane (not her real name), a lingerie boutique owner from Dublin. Sick of older guys, the 34-year-old has just traded up to a younger model -- and says she'll never look at a silver fox again.



"As a child, I idolised my father. From an early age, he instilled in me a love of opera and history and taught me to play chess. With my dad as a role model, any boyfriend had to be interesting, sophisticated and cultured.



"Up until recently, I believed you could only find those qualities in an older man. My first relationship with a man 10 years older began when I was 18. I was recovering from a serious car crash and he was kind, considerate and extremely generous.



"Established career-wise, he was able to take me out to the best restaurants and on exotic holidays. Over time, however, he began to resent the strong, independent woman I became.



"Older men may fall in love easily with young women, but they rarely remain in love with the woman they grow into. More recently, I came out of a relationship with a man 16 years my senior. I thought the age difference was perfect. Unfortunately, just as I entered my secure phase, he entered the mid-life crisis era -- desperate to re-establish himself as an alpha male.



"This is the biggest problem with dating an older man. Despite the winding down of their libido and increased dependence on Viagra, they are desperate to prove: 'Look at me, I've still got it!' But the Peter Pan routine wears thin very quickly, let me tell you.



"Given my age, I wouldn't consider dating an older man again. Unlike a fine wine, they don't improve with age. For me, it's a no-brainer: More ill-tempered and less sex? No thanks! I'm sure there are some delightfully maturing varieties out there, but for now I've found a man who is more my own vintage -- and I'm sticking with him."

Irish Independent

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