Tuesday 22 October 2019

Revealed: These 17 qualities are the biggest turn-offs in new relationships

Carrie and Mr Big in Sex and the City
Carrie and Mr Big in Sex and the City

Jess Staufenberg

Matching sexual appetites in a long-term relationship can be a complicated thing to achieve and can vary greatly from couple to  couple, but new research has identified the top 17 areas of contention.

“Bad sex” was a concern for women, while “low libido” was what men rated poorly. Top characteristics that kill the chemistry for both sexes are “dishevelled”, “lazy” or “needy”, above all other considerations.

But these change depending on whether a person is looking for a short-term fling or a long-term commitment, according to a study by social scientists at Western Sydney University.

The research compiled six studies covering 6,500 people. Responses showed that for a quick sexual encounter, only “smells bad” and “has poor hygiene” were deal-breakers for making people think twice.

“Basically, for short-term partners, if they have a toothbrush, they’re good to go,” said Gregory Webster, associate professor of social psychology at the University of Florida, to the Wall Street Journal.

Read more: 5 ways to maintain a long-term relationship

But considerations increased in the long-term with women weighing up more of them than men, said author of the study Dr Peter Jonason, a senior lecturer in psychology at the University of Western Sydney.

“No sense of humour”, “bad sex” and “lacks confidence” were ranked especially highly by women over their male counterparts as reasons for ending a relationship.

Men, meanwhile, were only more concerned than women about “low libido” and “talks too much” over every other tickbox on the checklist, showing that the quantity mattered more than the quality of sex and that they are generally less verbal.

Yet both genders agreed on the three worst “deal-breakers” — being “dishevelled”, “lazy” or “needy”.

The unimpressed other party would only exit the relationship, however, if they saw themselves as a romantic catch. If they saw themselves as a high “market value”, they would have a lot of deal-breakers and move on if standards were not met. This also means that more arrogant people could have unrealistic expectations in a relationship.

Dr Jonason said: “Deal-breakers are probably unreasonable when one has a seriously misguided impression of their own value on the market.”


In order of significance, the deal-breakers for relationships are:

1. “Dishevelled or unclean appearance”: 71pc of women, 63pc of men

2. “Lazy”: 72pc of women, 60pc of men

3. “Too needy”: 69pc of women, 57pc of men

4. “No sense of humour”: 58pc of women, 50pc of men

5.  “Lives far away”: 47pc of women, 51pc of men

6. “Bad sex”: 50pc of women, 44pc of men

7.  “Lacking self-confidence”: 47pc of women, 33pc of men

8. “Too much TV or video games”: 41pc of women, 25pc of men

9. “Low sex drive”: 27pc of women, 39pc of men

10. “Stubborn”: 34pc of women, 32pc of men

11. “Talks too much”: 20pc of women, 26pc of men

12. “Too quiet”: 17pc of women, 11pc of men

13. “Blunt”: 17pc of women, 11pc of men

14. “Does not want children”: 15pc  of women, 13pc  of men

15. “Has kids”: 12pc of women, 14pc  of men

16. “Too athletic”: 10pc of women, 7pc of men

17. “Not athletic”: 6pc of women, 7pc of men

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