Style Sex & Relationships

Tuesday 17 July 2018

It turns out there are some benefits to being cheated on

Caitlin McBride

Caitlin McBride

Your mother was right - you are better off without him.

You mightn't realise it at the time - or at all - but new research suggests that men and women's personalities change for the better after being cheated on.

The research - which was conducted by Binghampton University and University College London and is considered the largest ever study on break-ups - shows that women recover faster from splits and are better off in the long run after experiencing infidelity. They also report higher levels of "mating intelligence" after.

Meanwhile, the 'other woman' who winds up with the cheating spouse winds up losing out in the long run.

Lead researcher Dr Craig Morris said that women who wind up with cheating men are likely to be cheated on themselves.

"The 'other woman' is in a relationship with a partner who has a demonstrated history of deception and, likely, infidelity," he explained.

Women tend to take their time moving on from splits, but are better off in the end as they tend to see break-ups are opportunities for personal growth and emotional development.

Read more: 10 questions to ask your partner before saying 'I do'

"In fact, women speak of the breakup experience almost exclusively in the past tense whereas men often use the present tense," Dr Morris added,

"Women report that they are more attuned to cues of infidelity, dishonesty, and other 'low mate value' signals following having their mate 'poached' by another woman"

"Women also report that they are now more aware of their female friends and associates behaviour regarding their significant other."

"Our thesis is that the woman who 'loses' her mate to another woman will go through a period of post-relationship grief and betrayal, but come out of the experience with higher mating intelligence that allows her to better detect cues in future mates that may indicate low mate value.

"Hence, in the long-term, she 'wins'. The 'other woman,' conversely, is now in a relationship with a partner who has a demonstrated history of deception and, likely, infidelity.

"Thus, in the long-term, she 'loses'."

Online Editors

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