Monday 22 October 2018

Dear Mary: Should I warn this woman about my lying, cheating ex?

Photo: Shutterstock
Photo: Shutterstock

Mary O’Conor

I am writing you this letter because I'm concerned about a lady who is about to marry a man who is a liar, a cheat and is only with this lady because she has money.

This man was going out with me for 14 years.

He promised we would get married, have kids and a nice house.

He is 48 and the woman he is with now is 10 years younger.

He promises this lady they will have kids but he took my chances of having kids away from me.

The lady he is with now has two houses and she has put one up for sale.

This man wants her to build him a house with her money.

He asks some of his friends to send pictures of their private parts and tells them what he does in bed with this lady.

He was told a number of years ago to stay away from kids because he asks them to urinate in front of him so he can look at them.

He was engaged to me and he stole the ring.

He also started moving the ornaments around the house to make it look like I was losing my mind.

Do you think this lady should find out the truth before it's too late or should I say nothing at all?

Mary replies:  I'm sorry that you were let down so badly.

Presumably you know somebody who knows this lady as you seem to be very familiar with what is going on between them.

You are making some serious charges against this man - particularly regarding young children - so therefore you need to be very cautious.

You stand the risk of being accused of stirring things up because of jealousy or spite, and you most definitely do not want to have those things said about you.

So before you do anything you should speak with somebody whom you can trust 100pc, such as an older family member, a former teacher or a member of the Garda.

They will be able to assess what is your best way to proceed.

As I don't have all the facts I am unwilling to advise you in any particular direction.

You can contact Mary O’Conor anonymously by visiting or email her at or write c/o 27-32 Talbot Street, Dublin 1. All correspondence will be treated in confidence. Mary O’Conor regrets that she is unable to answer any questions privately.

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