Tuesday 13 November 2018

Dear Mary: Should I make the first move with walking club leader?

Walking groups provide a great opportunity to make new friends. File photo
Walking groups provide a great opportunity to make new friends. File photo

Mary O’Conor

I recently joined a walking group with the intention of meeting new people and making friends.

I have been with the group a while and the lady who runs it is very attractive.

I am not sure about her marital status but I have asked a few members and was told by one she is single and by another she is in a relationship.

Should I risk it and ask her out or will I run the risk of making things awkward between us on future walks?

Mary replies: I understand that walking groups have become tremendously popular and it must be great fun to be doing something healthy while at the same time having the opportunity to make new friends.

You should be very wary of asking this lady out. It would be a much better idea to continue as you are and get to know her a little more.

Almost inevitably if somebody is in a relationship they will mention that person in passing, talking about somewhere they have been together or in some way referencing their partner.

When you get to know her a bit more and if she hasn't mentioned anything - and there are no rings on her fingers - then why not ask her if she has a partner and let her take it from there.

If she is single, and she wants to take it further, she will give you an opening. If she doesn't she will find some way to let you down gently.

If she is indeed single and wants to accept an invitation for a date then good for you. But your intuition is right - you may well make things very awkward between you if you rush in and ask her on a date.

Also, I'm sure there may be lots of other women in the group who may welcome your attention. Keep all your options open!

You can contact Mary O’Conor anonymously by visiting www.dearmary.ie or email her at dearmary@independent.ie or write c/o 27-32 Talbot Street, Dublin 1. All correspondence will be treated in confidence. Mary O’Conor regrets that she is unable to answer any questions privately.

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