Dear Mary: My wife is angry because I want to be a part of her grown-up daughter’s life

My wife had a daughter years before we met. I was good friends with her and her husband before they emigrated many years ago. They now have four children, but the problem is my wife completely cuts me and our son, who is a teenager, out of their lives. She can spend an hour on the phone laughing and being granny to the kids while I sit there in the room with her. She will never even acknowledge that I am there.