Style Sex & Relationships

Friday 15 November 2019

Dear Mary: I'm widowed and thinking of visiting a female escort

Library Image. Photo: Getty Images
Library Image. Photo: Getty Images

I AM in my mid-60s and my wife died over five years ago. I'm fit and healthy and still active in sport. I masturbate a few times a week but I would love to pay a visit to a female escort. Would this be normal or wise at my age?

Mary replies:

You obviously had a healthy and enjoyable sex life with your late wife, and as a result, you must miss this. I can understand that the idea of using an escort might have a certain thrill, and also you may see it as having a service provided without any strings attached. The whole area of prostitution and escorts is a legal minefield, as if there are even two escorts working from the same phone line, premises or hotel room this will be construed as a brothel, and is illegal.

If, however, you can be assured that you are not attending a brothel or a place with two or more escorts, if you have not been solicited, the escort has not advertised, is not underage and has not been trafficked then it is legal. Even reading those last two lines you may decide that using a prostitute is quite tawdry.

If you do use an escort then you will have paid money for sex but there will be absolutely no emotional involvement. In any discussion that I have seen with prostitutes, they say that very often the clients are lonely and need somebody with whom they can talk.

Perhaps this is the case with you. I wonder if you have looked at the possibility of new friendships with women in your area?

Any time I publish a letter from a man saying he is lonely I get lots of interested ladies wishing to offer their help, so there are definitely women out there who would welcome a relationship. And a lot of those women would also love to have a sex life.

As you are still active in sport are there any women involved in that particular sport? It may be that all your friends are married with wives who are still alive, but those wives will undoubtedly have women friends who are, like you, widowed, or they may be single or separated. But they need to know that you are available, so let the word filter through that you are.

Companionship plus sex is preferable to sex on its own, even though Woody Allen has a point when he said that, "sex without love is an empty gesture, but as empty gestures go it's one of the best".

Submit your letters to Mary anonymously at dearmary.ie.

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