Monday 17 June 2019

Dear Mary: I'm not sure, but one of my best friends may be a thief


Q: Me and a group of friends have known each other for years and have always gone to each other when times are tough for some kind words and support over a cup of tea. But lately I'm not sure I can trust their counsel any more.

I recently had some money vanish from my purse during the time we were doing some voluntary work. I know I had some of my week's pay in there when I arrived as we usually go for a small drink after we finish for a bit of chat.

When I went to pay for my round, I found that €100 was gone and I had to pay by card.

I just couldn't say anything to the girls at the time in case they thought I meant one of them had taken it.

So I asked 'Catherine' privately what I should do. She's always given me great advice but she told me that even though it was hard for me, the person who took it probably needed it more and I should be thankful that I have money for someone to take.

I just don't know what to do.

Part of me feels maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill but I also feel that maybe one of my friends stole from me and that's not right either.

Should I ask the girls separately or see if anyone found it. Maybe it just fell out of my bag?

A: I'm afraid the response from 'Catherine' is far too saintly for me to embrace.

You worked hard for that money and it is up to you to donate something to charity if you wish but you do not deserve to have it stolen.

You've known this group of friends for years and people who do charitable works or who help out as volunteers are extremely unlikely to steal from each other.

The money may have fallen out of your bag on your way to the place or somebody may have stolen it before you got there.

Next time you are having your drink and chat, you should mention that you lost money on that particular day and that you don't know whether it was stolen or you lost it but that you won't be carrying much cash with you in future.

Then get on with your friendship - girlfriends are to be treasured.

You can contact Mary O’Conor anonymously by visiting or email her at or write c/o 27-32 Talbot St, Dublin 1.

All correspondence will be treated in confidence. Mary O’Conor regrets that she is unable to answer any questions privately.

Sunday Independent

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