Saturday 20 January 2018

Dear Mary: Am I just infatuated with astro-physicist?

I am a theoretical physicist. I went to this conference in Sweden and met this girl who is an astrophysicist and ever since I saw her I feel like I cannot focus on anything.

I met her once during the conference with a group of guys as I knew some of them and got to talk to her. She was fantastic.

Then on the way home she was on the bus to the airport alone and so we chatted.

She told me how beautiful Stockholm was, I apologised for joking about her being an astrologist which she took really well.

Then she had to get off at a different terminal to mine.

Now I am kicking myself for not coming up with anything dashing -- I just said that she should come to my university in the UK.

She laughed and wished me luck with my PhD.

All I know now is that the butterflies in my stomach are flying much more strongly.

She had told me that she is on Facebook, but I don't know if I should just add her as a friend or write something. And should I wait a week before adding her as a friend or do it straight away? Please help me as I'm clueless when dealing with ladies.

She seems such a wonderful person both inside and out.

Am I just infatuated?

Mary replies:

You've probably been concentrating on maths and science until now, so these new feelings have caught you unawares. It does indeed sound like infatuation -- after all, you have only had two very brief meetings -- but there is nothing wrong with that.

And it's fun to experience the butterflies and fantasise about what might have happened if you had a longer time together.

I suggest that you write something as well as adding her as a friend on Facebook, as she may not remember who you are otherwise.

You may then get some sort of dialogue going and who knows what the future may bring?

In the meantime, why not get more comfortable in chatting with girls in your own university so that when you next meet somebody that you really fancy you will feel much more confident.

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