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Asking for a friend: ‘Our wedding was postponed three times because of Covid and now my fiancé won’t set a new date’

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'If marriage is a deal-breaker, you need to think carefully about your future'

'If marriage is a deal-breaker, you need to think carefully about your future'

'If marriage is a deal-breaker, you need to think carefully about your future'

Q: My fiancé and I have planned our wedding for years now, but it has been delayed three times because of Covid. We used to be so excited for the wedding and viewed it as a major life goal. However, with all the delays, he has lost all interest in the wedding. He has started to say that it doesn’t matter, and that he doesn’t want to reschedule again. I am worried that this means that he doesn’t want to get married at all, as every time I try to talk about a new date and wedding, he shuts down and changes the subject. I dreamed of this wedding for so long. I know he is the person I want to settle down with, but he seems to have completely gone off the wedding idea. I am scared to even bring this up as I am afraid it will lead to a row, but I also want to know if I need to reschedule again and contact suppliers. How do I move this forward and get him interested in the wedding again?

Dr West replies: Many people have changed their minds about a big wedding since the pandemic. They have reviewed the cost and decided to spend that money on other things, or the idea of being in a big crowd has provoked anxiety. People may also feel that the idea of a big wedding is not actually reflective of what they actually want but is rather what society expects. With the cost-of-living crisis, these feelings may be compounded as many people tighten their belts.


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