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Asking for a friend: ‘My boyfriend and I always had amazing sex, but lately I feel icky and just can’t enjoy it. Why?’

'Some people might advise you to have some wine before intimacy in order to relax you — I don’t think this is good advice at all'

Dr Caroline West

Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly two-and-a-half years now and the sex has always been amazing. But in the past five or six months, I find myself getting in the mood for sex and then, when it actually comes to having sex or him pleasuring me, I start to panic and get this weird icky feeling, as if I shouldn’t be doing it and feel guilty for enjoying it. It’s as if my parts are rejecting the thought of enjoying it and I don’t get as horny as I used to. I can wholeheartedly say it’s nothing to do with my boyfriend or how attractive I find him. He’s a blessing, and so good and understanding when I feel these symptoms, but we obviously both want to get it sorted so we can enjoy sex again. We use toys, games and foreplay. It’s great sometimes when I don’t get that weird feeling down there but then the other 60pc-70pc of the time, we will get into the mood and suddenly that weird feeling comes over me and I have to stop. I’m just looking for advice on how I can help myself to enjoy sex again.