Asking for a friend: ‘I used to love my adventurous sex life but now my libido is non-existent and I’m afraid my partner will leave me. Help!’

Sexual wellness has been impacted by the stress of the pandemic

Dr Caroline West

Q: I used to love sex, but lately I’ve found that I have no sex drive at all. Like, zero. I don’t even want to masturbate, and I really don’t want to have sex with my partner. They’re getting frustrated; they aren’t pushing me for sex, but I can just tell. I just can’t get myself in the mood. It frustrates me as I used to love my sex life with my partner, and it was quite adventurous. I worry that this will become permanent, and I will lose my partner. It feels like they want sex and I’m the one that’s always turning them away. I’ve also gained weight during lockdown and I can’t fit into any of my sexy clothes, so this makes me feel really bad too. Everything else about the relationship is great and I still find them sexy, but I feel like my sex life is at a standstill. How do I get my spark back and regain the sense of closeness and intimacy we had before?