Monday 14 October 2019

Ask Brian: The guy in the coffee shop gives me extra loyalty stamps - is he in love with me?

Our no-nonsense agony uncle gets straight to the point of your most pressing issues

(Stock image)
(Stock image)
Brian O'Reilly

Brian O'Reilly

A new coffee shop opened a few months ago beside where I work in Dublin.

I drop in every morning to pick up a coffee, and they reward customers by stamping a loyalty card for every one you purchase. You then get the 10th one free.

There's a really cute barista there who stamps my card two or three times even when I only buy one coffee.

He's even winked and smiled at me a few times, but we've never spoken beyond when I make my order.

Do you think he's in love with me? Well that's overstating it I know, but do you think he's interested?

I'm not sure if he's flirting or if this is something he does for everyone.

Should I strike up a conversation or flirt with him? I've been trying to think of sexy coffee and stamping puns to use (no joke, I figure it could get a laugh).

Should I make a move?

Brian replies:

First off, I really wish you had sent a list of proposed "sexy coffee puns" that I could run through.

"Coffee keeps me awake all night, like I know you will" *licks lips seductively* - Okay, I won't quit the day job.

Look, I don't want to stand in the way of this modern love story, but he may not be the latte-making prince of your dreams.

New coffee shops fairly routinely over stamp customers' loyalty cards after they open to, well, grow loyalty.

He could recognise you as a regular customer and is hoping to keep you coming back.

Have you seen anyone else hand in a loyalty card to him? Do they get extra stamps? It might give you an indication of what's going on.

I don't want to stamp (see what I did there) all over your dreams, but it's very possible you're reading way too far into this.

To be more optimistic, there is always a chance he is genuinely flirting with you. But I just don't think any grand gesture on your part is the proper way to explore that.

I may be old fashioned, but the best way of taking things to the next level could be speaking to him. You know when you say words instead of text them.

Talk about the weather, how the shop is doing. Make small talk. If he doesn't really engage with you, well then you probably have your answer. 

Get back in touch and let us know if there is a happy ending, it will give us all hope our morning coffee run could lead to true love.

Do you have a problem you'd like some advice on? Email  to submit in confidence.


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