Ask Brian: My girlfriend's addicted to Love Island and now expects me to get abs
Our no-nonsense agony uncle gets straight to the point of your most pressing issues
I'm sitting on the couch beside my girlfriend writing this as she watches even more Love Island. I could be texting another woman for all she knows, that's how little attention I'm getting off her.
Normally I don't have a problem with all the trash TV she watches, but recently she's been dropping hints she wants me to look like on of the dopes on her latest obsession.
I was never The Rock physically, but I probably have put on quite a few pound in the two years we've been together.
Lately when she's been watching Love Island she's been making little barbed comments like "oh remember when you used to look like that" or drooling over one of them.
Here's the thing Brian, I love her and all, but she's no bloody bikini model herself. The closest thing she's been getting to exercise lately is operating an ice cream scoop.
So I think it's a bit rich for her to judging me for putting on a few. How do I get her to back off?
Right, confession time.
I think I'm the only person in the country under the age of 30 who's not watching Love Island. So I can offer limited feedback on whether the men on it are "dopes" or not. But I will say this, they're on a free holiday for six weeks while you watch from your sofa, so I wouldn't go throwing stones.
It's also worth mentioning that none of us are The Rock, the man is a superhuman.
There's the famed US term 'Freshman 15' - referring to the weight a lot of college student puts on in their first year as they consume mainly junk food and alcohol.
I think there's probably a similar phenomenon in relationships, most people two years into a relationship have probably put on a few pounds.
You feel more secure in the relationship because you've both got fat and less attractive together. Ah, the course of true love.
I don't think anyone should be made feel pressured into looking a certain way. And I think some of those guys with their perfect abs haven't enjoyed carbs - and therefore life - in a long time.
Maybe she doesn't realise she's doing it. Maybe she doesn't realise the ice cream that's seen you pack on a few pounds isn't magically calorie-free for her.
I wouldn't take her little comments too seriously, I mean unless you've literally put on about five stone in two years.
If you're both a little overweight why not take up a new activity together as a couple? It will make a change from plopping yourselves in front of the TV every night.
Alternatively, the path of least resistance would be to just not watch Love Island with her. Doing activities takes effort.
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