Friday 27 April 2018

Ask Brian: My girlfriend takes ages to get ready and is wasting my life

Our no-nonsense agony uncle gets straight to the point of your most pressing issues

(Stock image)
(Stock image)
Brian O'Reilly

Brian O'Reilly

I know this is a common problem, but I can't seem to get through to my girlfriend on it.

She takes a million years to get ready when we're going out. She'll tell me to be at her house for 8, she won't be ready until 11.

I like her family and all, but three hours of awkward chat while her ma watches Coronation Street is a bit much to take.

I'd stay in her room but she sprays so many things I feel I'd choke to death.

A few weeks ago she told me to come over for 7.30 but I decided I wouldn't show up until 9. She went mad at me when I got there, EVEN THOUGH SHE STILL WASN'T READY. I feel like I'm wasting my life waiting on her.

I don't know why she wants me sitting around waiting for her, I'd be happier in my own house and just go over when she's ready to go.

Any suggestions?

 

Brian replies:

I don't want to gender-type this, because plenty of men take just as long as women to get ready.

But it does seem in every relationship there's always one partner who takes about 15 times longer to get ready than the other.

I've been that soldier, ready in a solid 20 minutes and left waiting the guts of 6 hours for the other half.

I could have watched Titanic twice in that time.

So your problem is by no means a rarity.

I understand your dilemma in not wanting the awkward hours with her family, yet also not wanting to leave her room with a contact high from all the lotions and potions she sprays.

On a side note, have you checked she hasn't actually passed out from all the spraying and that accounts for her tardiness? She's up there in a sweet hair spray coma while your downstairs telling her dad about your fictional five year plan, because you still haven't given up on your dream of being a premier league footballer.

Have you ever suggested she gets ready in your house ahead of nights out? At least you'd get to watch Coronation Street with your own mam that way.

If you live relatively close to her I can't see a reason why she can't text or ring you when she's nearly ready; especially if all you end up doing is sitting downstairs in her house anyways.

It would be different if she liked having you in her room while she got ready, hair spray fumes functioning as her very own dry ice.

I don't think you should go down the road of telling her you'll be there at a certain time and then decide of your own volition to turn up 90 minutes late. That was always going to lead to an argument.

You're not being unreasonable by wishing to avoid three hours sitting around in her house waiting for her, especially when you're not actually spending the time with her.

 

Do you have a problem you'd like some advice on? Email askbrian@independent.ie  to submit in confidence.

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