Wednesday 15 August 2018

Ask Brian: My ex has blocked me on social media because I keep drunk texting him

Our no-nonsense agony uncle gets straight to the point of your most pressing issues

(Stock image)
(Stock image)
Brian O'Reilly

Brian O'Reilly

Myself and my boyfriend of two years broke up over the summer.

It came completely out of the blue for me and I'm still not over it.

I thought things were going so well, we even co-own a goldfish which he never bothers to visit.

I've been hearing rumours he's seeing someone else and while that's ok as we're broken up, I just don't understand why he'd finish with me.

Most of the time I keep these emotions in check but when I'm on a night out and had a few drinks I get upset by it and need to talk to him.

I'd been Whatsapping him and can see he's read the messages but he never replied.

I started to message him on Facebook and Snapchat as well but he seems to have blocked me on them.

I know I shouldn't message him while drunk but I want and deserve answers. I probably could have been nicer as well, I did say some mean things in them about the weight he put on while we were together.

Do I just go to his work and confront him? He should have more respect for me than just blocking me.

Brian replies:

I get you're hurting.

Break ups a are never easy - especially when you're the one broken up with and you're not expecting it.

But look, your behavior at the minute is a little bit Fatal Attraction.

One minute you're drunk texting him, the next you'll be sending him pieces of your hair in the post. It's a slippery slope.

I understand you want answers, especially when from your point of view things ended so suddenly and without reason.

But I think at the moment you probably aren't going to get a civil discussion out of him.

Alcohol can be great for stress relief and enjoying yourself in a social situation - but it isn't going to help you deal with this.

A lot of problems are made better by sleeping on it, no problem has ever been made better by drinking on it.

Sometimes I think phones should come with breathalysers to stop us texting after one too many, but instead play cheesy 90s pop music when you're too jolly.

From his perspective I understand why he's blocked you - he doesn't hear from you except in the middle of the night while you're drunk, and you use the opportunity to call him fat. It's a no brainer on his end really.

You need distance from the situation and if in a few months you still want answers maybe approach it (soberly) then.

Your antics have probably ruined any chance you had at the moment of having that chat. Put your focus into raising your goldfish.

Do you have a problem you'd like some advice on? Email askbrian@independent.ie  to submit in confidence.  Due to the volume received, Brian cannot respond to individual emails.

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