Sunday 22 July 2018

Ask Brian: My boyfriend has emails from a cheating website and posted naked pictures

Our no-nonsense agony uncle gets straight to the point of your most pressing issues

(Stock image)
(Stock image)
Brian O'Reilly

Brian O'Reilly

So I'll try keep this short as possible..

My boyfriend and I have shared email account and I needed to check his pay as I'm the one who pays bills etc. His pay slip is emailed.

When checking I noticed he had received an email from a cheating website... assuming it was spam I didn't think much of it, however, I noticed it had already been opened.

Sure enough there was a profile picture with his name and a picture leaving little to the imagination. No messages had been sent.

He tells me he knows nothing about it and when he contacted the website they stated he signed up in August 2017.

The bit I am having trouble getting my head around is the picture he took was in our house and I never seen it nor does he send pictures like that to me.

So some how someone (according to him) has accessed his email, his photos on his phone password, created an account, and now the site claims he owes money as he didn't cancel the free sign up.

He has always said how he hates cheaters and why people claim to love someone and cheat.

Brian replies:

Ugh. The only thing worse than a cheater is a stupid cheater.

Not only are they cheating, but they're not even making the effort to try and cover it up well. It sends a message that not only are you not worth being faithful to, you're not even worth an elaborate cover story.

I assume you've sent this mail from a separate account from the one in question, or he might email you back about it, which would save me time to be fair.

I know you want to believe him and think the best of him, but there's absolutely no way he didn't know about this.

The damning evidence to me is the picture taken in your house which isn't from any of his social media accounts.

I might have offered him some credit (very, very, little mind you) if the picture was the same as one he had posted somewhere on social media. It might then have been possible he signed up to something inadvertently or (if he's handsome) his images could have even been used by a catfish.

But the fact it is a completely original picture means he took it specifically for the site. Not only that, he's also felt it appropriate to post intimate pictures of himself as well.

(Also as a side note - it's 2018 and I can't believe people are still stupid enough to put pictures of their junk up on the internet for all to see. You're asking to be blackmailed.)

Now if you're really vindictive you could send his portfolio of nudes to his work colleagues, but of course I'm not recommending that (winks through screen).

His best (and only) course of action now is to be honest with you.

He's treating you like a fool, he wants you to believe this website not only signed him up without his knowledge, but also gained access to his secret photo collection? Sure Jan.

If he's actually honest with you then you can decide how to proceed. But failing that your options are to end things or continuing on knowing he betrayed you - and will continue to do so.

If you're particularly mischievous, you could always join the same site under an alias and message him and see what happens. Hey, if nothing else you might meet someone new who you'll know from the start is an adulterer.

Either way, don't be his fool.

 

Do you have a problem you'd like some advice on? Email askbrian@independent.ie  to submit in confidence.

@Brian_O_Reilly

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