Monday 16 September 2019

Ask Brian: I think my boyfriend is more turned on by the World Cup than me

Our no-nonsense agony uncle gets straight to the point of your most pressing issues

Cristiano Ronaldo is a prime example of a modern day football icon who has embraced the benefits of sports science
Cristiano Ronaldo is a prime example of a modern day football icon who has embraced the benefits of sports science
Brian O'Reilly

Brian O'Reilly

I read the letter sent to you by the guy who feels he's being ignored by his girlfriend for Love Island. I feel I needed to write in and stand up for the women of Ireland.

I've been having a similar problem. My boyfriend has been ignoring me for the World Cup.

At least Love Island is only one hour every night. It feels like the World Cup has been going on for about six months, and there's about 37 matches on every day. I barely see him. We've been having a heatwave and I don't think he's left the house since Storm Emma.

I've tried everything I can think of to get him away from it. I've tried having sex with him during the match but no joy. Seems watching men run around in shorts gets more going on downstairs for him then I do these days. I think he'd rather have sex with Ronaldo instead of me if I'm honest.

Why are men so bet into the soccer? A bunch of overpaid primadonnas flouncing around the place and rolling around on the floor every two minutes. Give me real men playing rugby or GAA any day.

Is Love Island really that bad when the World Cup has made soccer widows of so many of us?

Read more: Ask Brian: My girlfriend's addicted to Love Island and now expects me to get abs


Brian replies:

I'm not going to lie - I'm hoping you start a trend of people responding to previous letters. It feels like I'm becoming a cyber Jeremy Kyle, letting you both yell insults at each other while I sit back in judgement. And my favourite pastime is casting judgement on others.

I do think your situation is a little different to the problem we published last week, because you're not being pressured to look like Ronaldo after he watches a match. Side-note, Portugal are out so at least he won't be staring longingly at Ronaldo anymore on the TV. Just staring at what I assume is his extensive secret photo collection of him.

If there's one thing I know about straight men (and it's not much, I'll be honest), it's that nothing gets in the way of sport. You will always be second, you need to accept this reality now - as will any future children you may have together. House on fire? Calling the fire brigade can wait until the full-time whistle.

I remember getting a problem sent in last year by a woman feeling rejected because her boyfriend declined her sexual advances when he was watching sport - this is kind of similar.

He's clearly enjoying watching a match (whether you understand why or not) - so why are you trying to take it away from him? And in the process setting yourself up to feel rejected.

One of the greatest things about on-demand viewing through tablets and smartphones is that you can physically sit beside each other, but watch entirely different things while completely ignoring each other and not communicating in any way. It's how you keep a relationship ticking over.

Take the positives of the world cup; you've 90 minutes of guaranteed freedom to do whatever you want uninterrupted. Drink wine. Stalk people on social media. Throw out that shirt and flared jeans combo of his he's been wearing on nights out since 2008. You do your very own Queer Eye-style makeover on him without him even knowing.

You seem to view the world cup as a month of rejection; I'd take it as a month of freedom.

Honestly, when it's all over soon and he's no matches to watch you'll remember how annoying he is and wish the Premier League was back sooner.


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