Tuesday 15 October 2019

Ask Brian: I dodge going on nights out with my friends to stay home in my PJs

Our no-nonsense agony uncle gets straight to the point of your most pressing issues

(Stock photo)
(Stock photo)
Brian O'Reilly

Brian O'Reilly

My friends are getting annoyed with how little I've been going out lately.

I'm in my early  20s and started working full time a few months ago, some of my friends are still in college.

Friday used to be our gang's night for hitting the tiles, week in week out.

But since I've been working full time I just don't want to do it every weekend anymore. I'd much rather stay in on Friday in my PJs watching Netflix.

If I head out I know I'll just spend all of Saturday with a terrible hangover regretting it and wasting the day.

The girls are starting to get annoyed, I've only gone out once this year. I've started making up random excuses why I can't go.

Is it weird at my age to not be interested in it anymore? How can I get my friends to back off?


Brian replies:

I don't think you not wanting to waste your day off with a hangover is in any way weird.

Look, I assume you're not withdrawing from public life altogether and becoming a hermit - but if you are, it might be worth making an appointment with your GP to discuss.

There's a difference between becoming a hermit and just being done with hangovers.

I could make the old suggestion "you can just go out and not drink". Cough. Eyeroll. That plan works for the first hour but as everyone else gets increasingly wasted you're already planning your exit. Being the designated drunk babysitter is no fun.

I think you just need to be up front with your friends. You're not in college anymore and work full time, so you don't want to waste one of your days off every week.

I wouldn't go down the road of making up excuses every week. One week it's a fake cough, and before you know it you're buying a second phone to send yourself texts from your fake boyfriend, and investing hours in running his fake social media accounts. Then there's the whole second fake life of excuses of why they can never meet your fake boyfriend.

I'm getting off topic, but you get the drill. If the rest of your group are still going out, you can always join them whenever you want. But they need to get used to the idea you're not one of the regulars anymore.

Your group of friends is probably starting that transition from the college days of a lot of partying, to the real world of being an adult with a job. Now all you'll do for five days after a night out is moan about how hungover you are and "can't do it anymore".

You might be the first in your circle of friends, but believe me most of them will join the Netflix and PJ club over the next few years.


Do you have a problem you'd like some advice on? Email askbrian@independent.ie  to submit in confidence.


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