Leslie Ann Horgan: 'Come on Khloe, ditch the bad boys and date someone nice - like the IT guy'
Poor auld Khloe Kardashian. While I can't exactly say that I keep up with her glamorous sisterhood, just like Brexit, weather warnings and all things Meghan Markle, there are some stories that you pick up by osmosis. So, with apologies to any knowledgeable uber-fans who may be reading this, from a distance it seems as though Kim is the famous one, Kourtney is the mean one, Kylie is the smart one, Kendal is the fun one - and poor auld Khloe is the one who is unlucky in love.
The 34-year-old TV star is currently single after splitting with partner Tristan Thompson in February when a video emerged of the basketball player kissing a family friend. It was not his first infidelity to come to public attention. Just two days before Khloe gave birth to their daughter, True, in April 2018, Thompson was spotted cosying up to another woman in a bar and later going to a hotel together. A video of a previous encounter showed him enjoying some mutual groping with two women in a nightclub. Nice.
Infidelity seems to have also been at the root of Khloe's break-up with husband Lamar Odom. Having met and married in the space of a month in 2009, Khloe and NBA star Lamar made two series of their own loved-up reality TV spin-off before rumours of cheating and substance abuse issues on Odom's part emerged. Khloe filed for divorce in December 2013, but put the drawn-out proceedings on hold after Odom took a near-fatal overdose in a Nevada brothel.
They later made public appearances together but, following reports that Odom had slipped back into his old ways, filed for divorce for a second time in 2016.
In between these two major relationships, Khloe was also involved with another pro basketball player - James Harden. When the pair broke up, she suggested that he, too, had been unfaithful. Is it the case that poor auld Khloe has bad taste in men or a taste for bad men? Or is it basketball players who are the problem?
That certainly seems to be the theory held by Khloe's grandmother MJ Shannon. On an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live this week, Khloe was asked whether it was time to stop dating basketball players. "I should have listened to my MJ, my grandmother, and started dating accountants or something like that," Khloe replied. While MJ certainly has the right idea, I'm here to give you some sage advice Khloe: forget basketball players and forget accountants too. All the nice men work in IT.
There's a certain affinity among women who are in their 30s and on the dating scene. Gone is the blind optimism of youth and instead there's a weariness attached to 'putting yourself out there' time and again. Online dating is its own particular rollercoaster. Some days it feels like a fun game - what one friend cheerily referred to as 'boyfriend shopping' - and on others, it feels like the last despairing pitstop on the black road to a lonely life.
Every so often, however, someone you know will meet a guy with potential. A nice guy. A normal guy. A kind guy. A guy who is possibly a little bit shy or nerdy or badly dressed. "What does he do?" the woman in question will be asked by those who have already successfully navigated the dating quagmire. She won't yet understand the knowing look that passes between her friends when she replies: "Something with computers."
It will only be down the road when she, too, realises that all the nice men - the ones who have profile pictures of their faces and not their abs, the ones who want to meet for an actual date and not just send explicit pictures, the ones who want a relationship and not a notch on the bedpost - work in the same field. The IT sector is a hotbed of nice men whose only major relationships have been with Siri and Alexa. Men whose only baggage is backpacks filled with cables and connectors. Men who are diamonds in the dating rough.
So there you go Ms Kardashian, if you want to shake off the 'poor auld Khloe' image, then it's coders, not ballers, that you should be looking for. And even it doesn't work out long term, just think of the tech support benefits. With a social media presence like yours, that's got to be worth falling for.