Pippa O'Connor has credited her son Ollie for giving her the strength to overcome the grief of losing her mother.
The top model turned lifestyle guru (30) lost her mother Louise in October of last year, when she died suddenly of a heart attack.
And she explained that the grief is still very fresh, in an exclusive interview with LIFE magazine, in today's Sunday Independent.
"It still seems, even when I talk about it, I think: 'What am I saying? What are these words?' It feels just not real," she said. "It's only four months. Some weeks and days I feel very strong, I think, 'I'm actually OK.' Then, other days, it's, 'God, I'm not at all.'
"I think it's because I haven't let it sink in yet. I have a young child, a lot going on with work. You can't lie in the bed anyway with a young child, you have to get up, and because I'm busy with my work and I love what I do, I've chosen to put that aside and get on with things. Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing, I don't know.
"I'm not an expert, I'm not a psychologist, it's just what I have had to do, and it's helping me get through it. If I wasn't busy, doing things, with my website, organising my fashion events, I think I'd be depressed and crying all the time at home, and I can't go there."
Pippa recalled her last conversation with her beloved mother, saying that the two had arranged to go shopping over the following few days.
"I hadn't seen her in over a week, which was long, usually I'd see her more. I was on TV one night and she rang me afterwards and said, 'I loved your highlighter, what was that?' She wanted everything I had in terms of make-up and clothes and clearly thought she was my age," she explained.
"I was laughing, saying, 'I think you're too old for highlighter, you're 61.' But I said I'd find her one appropriate for her skin and age. She said, 'Thank you, Philippa.' She was the only one who called me that. Then she said, 'Can we go shopping in the next couple of days?' I said yes, and that was it. The last time I spoke to her."
For the full interview, see today's Life Magazine, free with the Sunday Independent