Thursday 17 October 2019

Nicole Kidman opens up about 'huge, aching yearning' over two tragic pregnancies with ex Tom Cruise

Nicole Kidman attends the premiere of Focus Features'
Nicole Kidman attends the premiere of Focus Features' "The Beguiled" at Directors Guild Of America on June 12, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Rich Fury/Getty Images)
Australian actress Nicole Kidman poses as she arrives on May 24, 2017 for the screening of the film 'The Beguiled' at the 70th edition of the Cannes Film Festival in Cannes, southern France. / AFP PHOTO / Alberto PIZZOLI
Nicole Kidman
Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman attend the TIME 100 Gala celebrating its annual list of the 100 Most Influential People In The World at Frederick P. Rose Hall, Jazz at Lincoln Center on April 24, 2018 in New York City. / AFP PHOTO / ANGELA WEISSANGELA WEISS/AFP/Getty Images
Nicole Kidman (Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP)
Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise at the 1997 Oscars
Nicole Kidman attends the Calvin Klein Collection during New York Fashion Week at New York Stock Exchange on February 13, 2018 in New York City. (Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images)
Connor Cruise (L) and Bella Cruise attend Connor's 17th birthday party in 2012
Nicole Kidman attends the 53rd Academy of Country Music Awards at MGM Grand Garden Arena on April 15, 2018 in Las Vegas, Nevada (Photo by Tommaso Boddi/Getty Images)

BANG Showbiz

Nicole Kidman is still "yearning" for the two children she lost over 20 years ago.

The 50-year-old actress tragically suffered an ectopic pregnancy and a miscarriage while married to her first husband Tom Cruise from 1990 until 2001 and she has admitted she still hasn't got over the loss because the grief is still embedded in her.

Speaking to Tatler magazine, she said: "I know the yearning. That yearning. It's a huge, aching yearning. And the loss! The loss of a miscarriage is not talked about enough. That's massive grief to certain women."

Nicole went on to adopt Isabella, 25, and Connor, 23, with Tom and, although she was still grieving for her babies, she was overjoyed at becoming a mother.

Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise at the 1997 Oscars
Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise at the 1997 Oscars

She explained: "There's an enormous amount of pain and an enormous amount of joy on the other side of it. The flipside of going through so much yearning and pain to get there is the feeling of 'Ahhhh!' when you have the child."

The blonde beauty previously admitted that she wanted to have children from the moment she and Tom got married but they turned to adoption after the heartache.

She explained: "From the minute Tom and I were married, I wanted to have babies.

"And we lost a baby early on, so that was really very traumatic.

Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman attend the TIME 100 Gala celebrating its annual list of the 100 Most Influential People In The World at Frederick P. Rose Hall, Jazz at Lincoln Center on April 24, 2018 in New York City. / AFP PHOTO / ANGELA WEISSANGELA WEISS/AFP/Getty Images
Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman attend the TIME 100 Gala celebrating its annual list of the 100 Most Influential People In The World at Frederick P. Rose Hall, Jazz at Lincoln Center on April 24, 2018 in New York City. / AFP PHOTO / ANGELA WEISSANGELA WEISS/AFP/Getty Images

"And that's when it came that we would adopt Bella. My mother has an adopted sister, so it's been part of our family and I knew it would probably play out somewhere in mine. I didn't think it would happen so early but it did."

However, four years after she divorced the 55-year-old actor, Nicole went on to marry country crooner Keith Urban and the pair have two daughters Sunday, nine, and Faith, seven, who they conceived naturally, together.

Connor Cruise (L) and Bella Cruise attend Connor's 17th birthday party in 2012
Connor Cruise (L) and Bella Cruise attend Connor's 17th birthday party in 2012

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