Tuesday 23 January 2018

It's a Grey day when actors are getting bored of BDSM

WHIPS: Rita Ora stars in Fifty Shades of Grey alongside Ulster man, Jamie Dornan. Photo: Ian Gavan/Getty Images
WHIPS: Rita Ora stars in Fifty Shades of Grey alongside Ulster man, Jamie Dornan. Photo: Ian Gavan/Getty Images
Donal Lynch

Donal Lynch

What is it about Fifty Shades of Grey and disappointing Northern men? When EL James wrote the bestseller of the decade, all eyes turned to her kindly, ginger, Northern Irish hubbie – about as steely and intimidating as a tea cosy – and we all decided there simply had to be a movie so that we'd have a more believable Christian Grey for our collective fantasies of domination.

We needed someone, as she said herself, "with a voice like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel... or something."

But now that everyone's a 'new' man there was trouble casting someone steely, alpha and kick-ass enough to play the BDSM-obsessed hero. Step up Jamie Dornan, the brooding Co Down-born actor/model who took over from Charlie Hunnam last year. He couldn't possibly muck it up for co-star Rita Ora by offering to do the hoovering, could he?

Well, possibly Dornan is a genuine dark marauder onscreen – we'll tentatively reserve judgement – but his 'new man' squeaks from the set haven't exactly inspired confidence. A while back it was revealed that he partook of the girls-and-gays-night-in favourite and watched Sex and The City to get in the mood for the role (which made us imagine him eating Haagen Dazs and braiding his friends' hair as he did so). Last week he protested he is "tired" of tying women to beds. Is there nobody who can brandish a whip and chain with some genuine relish?

Perhaps he needs a little lie down. Or perhaps we just need to look outside of Ulster for our visions of Christian Grey.

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