'I never grieved Brian which made me chase that first buzz' - Kerry Katona says marriage breakdown was behind drug relapse
Kerry Katona said the breakdown of her marriage to first husband Brian McFadden was the reason for her relapse into drug use.
The 37-year-old reality star was married to the former Westlife singer (38) for four years, eventually splitting in 2006. They have two children Molly (16) and Lilly Sue (15).
She checked herself into a rehab facility in 2008 and again in 2010 to cope with addiction issues and bipolar disorder. In a candid chat on Instagram Live after opening a new rehabilitation facility on Thursday, she said her drug problem began when she was 14 years old and they returned after the end of her marriage.
She said was convinced her ex-husband was her "knight in shining armour" and struggled to cope after their split.
"Unfortunately they don’t exist. I just get a t**ser wrapped in tinfoil," she added.
Katona moved to Dublin for most of their marriage and was surprised that she could enjoy a night out with any drugs, but when their relationship ended, she moved back to the UK and wanted to prove she hadn't changed and was "up for a good time" so began using cocaine again.
"He took me from England and took me over to Ireland and my life changed. I couldn’t believe that I went to a nightclub in Ireland called Lillie’s and I stayed up until four o’clock in the morning without taking any drugs," she said.
"I was like, 'Oh my God! I can’t believe this is happening'. Just from having a really nice time, a really good time. I was buzzed off it, it was absolutely great.
"Unfortunately the w**ker left me. I’m joking, we’re on good terms...and that meant I had to move back over to England but, me going back from where I started from, you lie down with dogs, you’re going to get fleas.
"I think for me, after the jungle (on I'm A Celeb), my fame became so high, and being married to someone in Westlife and, when I did go over to England, all my friends around that time, they were all into the drugs.
"And I wanted to prove I’ve not changed. I’m still 'our Kez', I’m up for a good time. So I’m buying all my friends coke and trying to get people to love me.
"I never grieved Brian which made me chase that first buzz, that first line, and it just went on and on and on."
She has since married twice more - to taxi driver Mark Croft in 2006 and former boxer George Kay in 2014, whom she split with last year. She has three more children with both her exes.
Brian married tv presenter Vogue Williams in 2013 and they split nearly two years later. He was also engaged to Australian singer Delta Goodrem for five years before they called it quits in 2011.
Kerry said her addiction issues began at age 14 with her mother Sue, according to The Sun.
"My mum did not know any different. Nor did I and, as I got older and older, it went from doing speed and then I met a boy and he introduced me to cocaine, I must have been about 15, 16," she said.
"I was a really, really good kid but when I became an adult it just kind of went downhill from there, really."