'I kept trying to figure out what I'd done to deserve this' - Johnny Depp on his low point in life
Johnny Depp has revealed he fell into a depression during his divorce from Amber Heard and the loss of his mother.
The 55-year-old actor gives a searingly honest interview to Rolling Stone in which he details his financial collapse (he is suing his former financial management team for alleged mismanagement of funds) despite earning an estimated $650m over the years.
In 2016, he split with Heard, his wife of two years, and she accused him of domestic abuse. After a drawn out legal fight, they settled on a $7m divorce settlement and issued a joint statement, saying: "Our relationship was intensely passionate and at times volatile, but always bound by love. Neither party has made false accusations for financial gain. There was never any intent of physical or emotional harm.
"Amber wishes the best for Johnny in the future. Amber will be donating financial proceeds from the divorce to a charity. There will be no further public statements about this matter."
Both signed non-disclosure agreements, but Depp considers 2016 a particularly low time due to his divorce and the death of his mother Betty Sue.
"I was as low as I believe I could have gotten," he told the magazine. "The next step was, ‘You're going to arrive somewhere with your eyes open and you're going to leave there with your eyes closed.' I couldn't take the pain every day."
"I poured myself a vodka in the morning and started writing until the tears filled my eyes and I couldn't see the page anymore.
"I kept trying to figure out what I'd done to deserve this. I'd tried being kind to everyone, helping everyone, being truthful to everyone. The truth is most important to me. And all this still happened."
The profile piece also details his excessive spending including $200,000 per trip on private jets and his former managers at TMG said last year, "Depp lived an ultra-extravagant lifestyle that often knowingly cost Depp in excess of $2 million a month to maintain, which he simply could not afford."