Monday 20 November 2017

The ten problems only flat chested girls understand

Freya Drohan

Freya Drohan

"Models don’t need breasts," claims fashion designer- flat chested girls everywhere rejoice.

Roland Mouret has said that he liked models that are ‘flat chested and tall’.

The prominent designer, the creative force behind the popular ‘Galaxy’ dress, told the Metro,

"I love that a model is flat-chested and so tall and slim that everything fits her”

However, once the designer realised that the ubiquitous model frame did not represent the average woman “who wears bras”, he created the Galaxy, loved by women such as Dita Von Teese, Rachel Weisz and Naomi Watts.

Mouret touches a nerve here, while it’s become accepted that fashions are shown on rake thin young women with no visible cleavage, this does not make those of us with pancake flat chests feel any better.

itty bitty.jpg

Here are the problems only girls with flat chests understand.

1. Your younger sister has already outgrown you. Wait, are cup sizes not supposed to be genetic? Why is your 15 year old sister already a 34B? Your parents have a lot of answering to do.

2. Wearing anything in the corset/bralet/bustier family makes you resemble a 12 year old girl.

3. You think Kate Upton is so superhuman she may as well be from a different planet.


4. The patronising “I wish I had small boobs” quips from busty friends. Yeah. SURE you do.  

5. When you hear “chicken fillets”, you don’t think dinner, you think life savers.

6. Sports bras make you look like a wrestler.


7. This one needs no explanation. Aged 14 at a disco… we’ve all been there, we can not judge.


8. Hearing anyone say “a handful is enough”. Yeah. When a handful is a C cup.

9. Anything strapless (that is not strategically taped on) is asking for trouble. Oh… there is goes again.

10. When you put on weight- it goes everywhere but your chest? Why cruel world, WHY.

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