Wednesday 18 July 2018

Kelly Clarkson says she contemplated suicide when she was told to lose weight when she was 'really skinny'

Kelly Clarkson attends the Variety's Power Of Women at the Beverly Wilshire Four Seasons Hotel on October 13, 2017 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)
Kelly Clarkson attends the Variety's Power Of Women at the Beverly Wilshire Four Seasons Hotel on October 13, 2017 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)
Kelly Clarkson performs on stage at the Citi Concert Series on NBC's 'Today' at Rockefeller Plaza on September 8, 2017 in New York City. (Photo by Gilbert Carrasquillo/Getty Images)
Kelly Clarkson performs on stage during the CMA 2016 Country Christmas on November 8, 2016 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Rick Diamond/Getty Images)
Kelly Clarkson performs on FOX-TV's "American Idol" in 2002
Kelly Clarkson at FOX TV's "American Idol" in 2002
Kelly Clarkson at the 2002 MTV VMAs
Kelly Clarkson attends the premiere of "Swimfan" at UCLA's Sunset Canyon Recreation Center on August 19, 2002
Caitlin McBride

Caitlin McBride

Kelly Clarkson has opened up about one of the darkest moments in her life in the early days of her career.

The 35-year-old was the first American Idol winner in 2002 and catapulted to overnight fame and with her new profile came intense scrutiny and pressure to adhere to a stick thin body type in order to compete against her then-competition like Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera.

Kelly Clarkson performs on stage at the Citi Concert Series on NBC's 'Today' at Rockefeller Plaza on September 8, 2017 in New York City. (Photo by Gilbert Carrasquillo/Getty Images)
Kelly Clarkson performs on stage at the Citi Concert Series on NBC's 'Today' at Rockefeller Plaza on September 8, 2017 in New York City. (Photo by Gilbert Carrasquillo/Getty Images)

"When I was really skinny, I wanted to kill myself," she told Attitude magazine. "I was miserable, like, inside and out, for four years of my life. But, no one cared, because aesthetically you make sense.

"It was a very dark time for me. I thought the only way out was quitting. I, like, wrecked my knees and my feet because all I would do it put in headphones and run. I was at the gym all the time."

She began to turn her life around in 2007, including cutting out negative people from her personal and professional life.

"There's a song on My December called Sober. There's this line - 'picked the weeds but kept the flowers' - and I just live my life by that, because you are who you surround yourself with. I was around some really negative people, and I got out of it because I had a lot of great people there, too. It was a case of turning around, facing them and walking toward the light," she added.

Kelly Clarkson attends the premiere of
Kelly Clarkson attends the premiere of "Swimfan" at UCLA's Sunset Canyon Recreation Center on August 19, 2002

The mother-of-two still faces scrutiny over her body type and has been fat shamed by followers on social media and she has no qualms about standing up for herself to critics, a quality she is instilling in her daughter River Rose (three) and son Remington (one).

"I said, 'You tell mommy if somebody does anything inappropriate'. You stand up for yourself. Even from a young age, I think you should instill that people, your children, should always stand up for themselves or speak out when something is wrong.

"I think if we start it at that young age, and you start molding people and growing to these very elevated individuals that help elevate society. It’s a really crucial time when you have children right now."

Kelly Clarkson performs on stage during the CMA 2016 Country Christmas on November 8, 2016 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Rick Diamond/Getty Images)
Kelly Clarkson performs on stage during the CMA 2016 Country Christmas on November 8, 2016 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Rick Diamond/Getty Images)

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