Wednesday 16 October 2019

'I am not cured' - Victoria's Secret model Bridget on recovering from an eating disorder

(L-R) Vita Sidorkina, Bridget Malcolm, and Megan Puleri are seen backstage before the 2015 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show at Lexington Avenue Armory on November 10, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
(L-R) Vita Sidorkina, Bridget Malcolm, and Megan Puleri are seen backstage before the 2015 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show at Lexington Avenue Armory on November 10, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)
Bridget Malcolm showcases designs by Ginger and Smart during rehearsal ahead of the David Jones Autumn/Winter 2016 Fashion Launch at St Mary's Cathedral on February 1, 2017 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Mark Nolan/Getty Images for David Jones)
Bridget Malcolm walks the runway in a design by Dion Lee during the David Jones Spring Summer 2017 Collections Launch at David Jones Elizabeth Street Store on August 9, 2017 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Mark Metcalfe/Getty Images for David Jones)
Bridget Malcolm poses for photographers at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Resort 17 Collections at Carriageworks on May 19, 2016 in Sydney, New South Wales. (Photo by Caroline McCredie/Getty Images)
Australian model Bridget Malcolm presents a creation during the 2016 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show at the Grand Palais in Paris on November 30, 2016. / AFP / Martin BUREAU / RESTRICTED TO EDITORIAL USE

BANG Showbiz

Bridget Malcolm is suffering with severe "body dysmorphia".

The 27-year-old star has opened up about being in recovery from her eating disorder from the last two years in a candid blog post, and the Victoria's Secret model revealed the "feeling" of her own skin makes her "feel uncomfortable", but she has to remain strong and remember she is not "cured" so she doesn't "slip back into old habits".

Writing on her official website in a piece titled 'Life In Eating Disorder Recovery', she said: "For two years now, I have been fortunate enough to be in recovery from my eating disorder. But I must never forget that I am in recovery. I am not cured. And I have to exert fairly constant vigilance on myself, to make sure that I don't slip back into old habits.

"My body dysmorphia is particularly bad right now. There is no reason why -- I have not gained weight, and I have not lost weight.

"For some reason though, the feeling of my skin is making me extremely uncomfortable. I would love nothing more than to reduce the size of the human I see in the mirror. And I know that if I do, I endanger my life and everything in it."

The Australian model admitted she is "sceptical" when people claim to have overcome their addictions because she finds it "hard to believe" there will ever be a time when she isn't "obsessing" over her food intake.

She added: "Whenever I hear someone claim that they are cured of their addictions, I can't help but feel sceptical. For something as relentless as an eating disorder, I find it hard to believe that someday I will not find myself obsessing over what I have eaten.

"It took most of my life to get into this thought process. I expect to spend real time learning to live around it. Because moving away from any addiction is utterly terrifying. You are left without a form of self containment. All that remains is the intense craving to go back to your dangerous safe place, a craving that you cannot give in to, or you risk dying. The day that I decided to eat, was the day that changed everything."

Bridget went on to explain she will continue to have "faith" in her body and "avoid mirrors".

She continued: "So, for today, I will continue to commit to my three meals a day. I will exercise in a way that gives me strength and faith in my body - not in a way that diminishes my size, energy and capabilities. I will meditate. I will avoid mirrors as much as possible. And I will throw myself into my life and relationships with all the energy that eating properly allows me."

Australian model Bridget Malcolm presents a creation during the 2016 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show at the Grand Palais in Paris on November 30, 2016. / AFP / Martin BUREAU / RESTRICTED TO EDITORIAL USE
Australian model Bridget Malcolm presents a creation during the 2016 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show at the Grand Palais in Paris on November 30, 2016. / AFP / Martin BUREAU / RESTRICTED TO EDITORIAL USE

Bodywhys, the Eating Disorders Association of Ireland, is the national voluntary organisation supporting people affected by eating disorders. Tel: (1890) 200-444, email alex@bodywhys.ie, or see bodywhys.ie

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