Who are Ireland’s hardest working band?
Who is Ireland’s hardest working band? The chances are that you won’t know the name.
After 30 years of performing, you might anticipate that this band would be winding down. You might expect that they would have reached their peak and have gone on to pursue solo careers.
But, for the Lotto HQ’s resident band, Celebrations, things are anything but quiet. You see, they play every time someone comes to claim a big win. And recently, that means a lot of playing, for a lot of people.
We caught up with the band members to hear how they are getting on. There are four key members of the band, and as you can imagine, tensions can rise between the band members.
“30 years is a long time to be singing the same song, with the same people, in the same building,” said Phil (not that one!) Collins, Celebrations’ lead singer. “I genuinely believe the band has gone crazy.
“Kim drums in her sleep, Karl has formally applied to marry Betsie (his Keytar) and Jerry is talking about a solo career.”
The exhaustion the band feels is warranted. One out of every 10 people playing the lotto will win a prize. That’s a lot of celebrating for the band to partake in. Every time someone wins, a siren blares, and the band get up to perform. It is gruelling work.
Jerry “No Strings” Johnson, bassist for the band is more optimistic, but we wonder is that just him answering us using lyrics from the song the band sing on repeat, “Celebrate”.
“There’s a party goin’ on right here at Lotto HQ,” he answers when we ask how he is handling the increased winners. “A celebration to last throughout the years.”
“Let’s celebrate, celebrate the good times…” he trails off.
With an average of 16 new millionaires every year, there is certainly cause for celebration. But how is the infamous Karl “Keytar” Kelly handling the pressure?
“Betsie is my life. I keep finding myself falling asleep while on the job, but I while I have her on hand, I find strength to keep celebrating.”
Kim Ni Quattro, the band’s drummer, appears to be attached to something very different.
“I always need to be on my A game for my winners. It's a big day in their lives and I want it to be special, so special in fact that every time they close their eyes at night all they will hear is my drumming.”
Strange attachments aside, the band are adamant to keep the party going.
“It’s the excitement you see in each winner’s eyes that keeps us together,” Kim muses.
Jerry continues with his mantra “Come on, let’s celebrate, celebrate the good times.”
“Even with my arthritis, at least we are all together” pipes up Karl, still staring lovingly at “Betsie”.
Phil stares blankly into space and says, “I am a very talented and extremely good-looking man. I have what it takes to succeed, trust me.”
As we say goodbye to the band, a siren blares. Another lucky winner. Another cause for massive celebration. The band gets up to go play, yawning, but still secretly happy for the winner.
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Note: The Celebrations is a fictional band, and all characters represented are fictitious.