Revealed: The worst things about a traditional bath tap shower
Irish bathroom habits have come a long way in the last few years, but we still have a long way to go.
Not so long ago Irish people were happy to use an outhouse and the start the day with a ‘wash’ of lukewarm water from the kettle. Thankfully these days we have the luxury of showering, but there are still a lot of people who don’t realise the difference a quality electric shower would make to their lives. Here are the worst things about a traditional bath tap shower.
Putting the immersion on ‘advance’
We’re still chained to the emersion. Trying to figure out that timer device is like trying to defuse a ‘suspect device’ so when you get up and there should be hot water, inevitably, there isn’t. The only way to be sure there’s going to be water for your shower is to set the emersion to ‘advance’ an hour before your shower. This ensures the water is lukewarm when you actually need it. But it is built into the DNA of Irish people to forget the set the immersion back to ‘clock’. Only remember during that important afternoon meeting.
Fiddling with the taps
Irish people spend more time fiddling with the taps than they actually spend in the shower itself. The water is either scalding hot or icy cold and the mix of the two requires endless adjustment. Of course the lever that switches between tap and shower head can never be in the right place and just when we’re turning on the tap we get a dowsing of freezing cold water on your head. The worst.
Giant steps over the side of the bath
For some reason, we still think we need a bath in the bathroom. It doesn’t matter that the only function this massive porcelain relic serves is to make you clamber over the edges to you can stand in a curved middle with limited space to move. It’s a dangerous game, as losing your footing will almost certainly end in broken limbs and/or concussion.
Rubber shower mat with the suckers
These surfaced in the 80s and are yet to disappear from Irish bathroom life. However the sooner they go the better. They were an attempt to make the stand-up bath experience safer, but they pose their own dangers. Not only is there the ever-present possibility that they may not have fully attached to the bath’s surface, but by far the biggest threat these things pose to humanity is hygienic.
Trying to avoid making any bodily contact with the shower curtain
The shower curtain is supposed to serve a dual purpose. It’s supposed to keep the water inside the shower and shield the user from view. However it does neither of those things. The door is usually locked so we don’t need the shower curtain and the water gets everywhere anyway. When we’re showering, we spend the time trying to avoid bodily contact with the shower curtain which has taken on a biological significance. There may be new forms of life on that thing.
Directing the shower head at your feet
The shower hose has begun to unravel and you’re losing water so that by the time it reaches the showerhead it comes out in a faint trickle. So you remedy the situation by removing the showerhead from the wall which increase the water pressure to a faint spurt of water, just enough to wash with. However, you need to shampoo your hair and need both hands free, so where do you put the showerhead? Between your knees. This has the effect of increasing danger of scalding while directing the spray of water upwards and directly out of the shower, to ensure every inch of the bathroom gets a good soaking.
Stepping out in to the arctic morning air
Once the washing is done, you’ll have to step gingerly over the edge of the bath into a swirling fog of condensation, not able to see anything and as unsteady on your feet as a new born foal.
Flooding the bathroom floor with water
There’s more water on the bathroom floor than there is in the bath. If you’ve left anything on the floor, it is now completely sodden.
Steaming up the mirror
The mirror on your bathroom wall is now useless. Need to shave? You’re doing it blind, need to do your make up? Not here. You can wipe the steamed up mirror with a towel, but it’s useless. The ghost like apparition staring back at you is a total stranger.
Cleaning the bath
For some reason, even one shower is enough to coat the bath with a thick layer of unknown lack soot. We don’t know where it comes from, but the only way to remove it is to get down on your knees with a wire sponge and some thick scouring cream detergent, that will remove the black grim, but replace it with an indelible streaky white powdery substance.
You don’t have to stand for this sub-standard showering experience. Irish people deserve more. Put the horror of the traditional Irish shower behind you and get a Triton shower now. Check out the full range of Triton products here.