Three funny stories from Roy Keane's new book: Robbie Savage's Budweiser boo-boo, John Hartson's diet and Jon Walters standoff

How many jobs has Robbie Savage missed out on because of his voicemail?

“I rang Mark Hughes. Robbie [Savage] wasn’t in the Blackburn team and I asked Mark if we could try to arrange a deal.

Sparky said: ‘Yeah, yeah, he’s lost his way here but he could still do a job for you.’ Robbie’s legs were going a bit but I thought he might come up to us [at Sunderland], with his long hair, and give us a lift – the way Yorkie [Dwight Yorke] had, a big personality in the dressing room.

Sparky gave me permission to give him a call. So I got Robbie’s mobile number and rang him. It went to his voicemail: ‘Hi, it’s Robbie – whazzup!’ like the Budweiser ad. I never called him back. I thought: ‘I can’t be fucking signing that.’”

"Welcome to Hell" - Glasgow not Galatasaray

“My first game [for Celtic] was Clyde, away, in the third round of the Scottish Cup. We were beaten 2-1. It was a nightmare.

I wasn’t happy with my own game. I did OK, but OK wasn’t good enough. After the game – the disappointment. As I was taking my jersey off, I noticed the Nike tag was still on it.

When I got on the bus John Hartson, a really good guy, was already sitting there and he was eating a packet of crisps – with a fizzy drink. I said to myself: ‘Welcome to Hell.’”

Stoke 'interest' leads to row and resolution with Jon Walters

“Jon Walters wanted to leave. We were four or five games into the season. He’d heard that Stoke were interested in him. I said: ‘Jon, I haven’t had a call from anybody.’

He came back a few days later. ‘They’re definitely after me.’ I said: ‘I’ve heard nothing. If there’s a bid, I’ll tell you. I’ve nothing to hide from you. You can ring the owner. I don’t do the business deals.’

‘I’m not having this.’ There was effing and blinding, a bit of shoving. ‘Why don’t you fucking believe me?’ He was sold to Stoke a week later. We’ve shook hands since.”