They could pack every square foot of the Manchester Ship Canal’s old dockside warehouses with their acidic cargo of anti-Glazer grievances and resentments.
A shameless 15-year money grab which amounts to nothing so much as a ransacking of their storied club’s future.
Old Trafford’s unchecked journey into dereliction, English football’s once finest palace now a rusting, roof-leaking tenement, a grim symbol of institutional decline.
An unwillingness to prioritise what for Manchester United supporters is a keynote, non-negotiable responsibility of ownership: A recognition of the club’s social fabric status, the capacity to view it as something other than an ATM spitting an endless avalanche of one hundred dollar bills across the Atlantic.
The asset-stripping that has come to resemble a car-thief disrobing a grand old vehicle and selling it off for parts.
Manchester United fans set off flares before storming Old Trafford last Sunday, in protest against the club’s owners. Photo: Barrington Coombs/PA
An ideological world view so swaddled in arrogance and devoid of emotional intelligence that it permitted Joel Glazer to believe a wrecking ball could be driven through almost 150 years of tradition, allowing the Super League to be presented as a fait accompli to the Stretford End.
And, of course, the grim post-Fergie void: Eight corrosive years where United have been mired in quicksand while their two great tribal rivals, Liverpool and Manchester City, galloped on to new terrain.
Watching on Sunday, as the Old Trafford pitch became a wall onto which fans graffitied all their impotent fury, it was reasonable to suggest that the relationship between owner and fan had advanced a long way beyond salvation.
Even the most optimistic marriage counsellor would recommend fast-tracking this one to the divorce courts.
But, what if…
Imagine, instead of a bland stew of apologies for their Super League misstep, the Glazers chose to respond with a series of messages stronger than their trademark weasel words.
Statements that might retrieve a little of the high ground while also compelling Pep Guardiola to look across the city at a foe reborn as a clear and present danger.
Tottenham Hotspur striker Harry Kane. Photo: Getty
Like informing Ole Gunnar Solskjaer he is armed with a blank cheque in his pursuit of Harry Kane. That he has approval from on high to spend whatever it takes - £125m, £150m – to secure Tottenham’s swordsman this summer.
That they will additionally support the manager in adding a winger (Jadon Sancho, maybe) in the Best/Ronaldo tradition and a centre-back armed with the composure and fast-twitch muscles to be United’s life-changing Virgil van Dijk or Ruben Dias.
And then simultaneously announcing a ground redevelopment to restore Old Trafford to something approaching old glories.
What an instantly transformative double flourish.
Kane’s arrival would immediately announce United as title contenders.
A team that failed seven times in all competitions this season (twice each against City, Chelsea and Arsenal and once against Liverpool) to score against Big Six opposition plainly requires an elite level serrated edge.
Not only would the world class English captain be a guaranteed difference maker, Kane’s recruitment might also be the launchpad for a new age of optimism.
The unsustainable reliance on Bruno Fernandes for game-changing interventions would ease; the antennae of other potential targets would be raised by an understanding that Old Trafford was no longer a cold house for the highest ambition.
Fans holds up a banner as they protest against the Glazer family (Barrington Coombs/PA).
Capital investment in the stadium – at the very least to repair a roof which, with its constant seepage of rainwater, has come to resemble a sieve – is essential.
Huge money has been poured into The Etihad and Anfield. United cannot continue to put the call to the builders on the long-finger.
Everything we know about the Glazers suggests we are venturing into Walter Mitty territory by clinging to even the tiniest hope that they might place the club’s future anywhere close to the summit of their priorities.
Vultures tend not to fret about the well-being of the dying creatures they are circling.
If philanthropy is not the Glazer calling-card, self-interest is most clearly their signature tune.
And right now, with the fan base in ferment and the club they own in existential crisis, self-interest might persuade the American owners to pursue one of two options: Sell or spend.
United’s agitated fan base hope their mutinous mood will unsettle the ownership to the point where they feel it best to plant a For Sale sign on Sir Matt Busby Way.
The Glazers’ backstory of digging-in and turning a deaf ear (and brass neck) to criticism, suggests this is unlikely.
But, for all the justifiable loathing of their business philosophy, they do have a history of some notably aggressive transfer swoops.
The £89.3m United paid for Paul Pogba five summers ago is more than Manchester City, Chelsea or Liverpool have ever spent on a single player.
Indeed, the three most expensive players in Premier League history – Pogba, Harry Maguire and Romelu Lukaku - were recruited while the hated Glazer standard flew over Old Trafford.
United fans are molten with anger and the fire of revolution that burns in their breasts will not be easily quelled.
They want elemental changes not tiny emancipations.
Kane walking down the Munich Tunnel onto the same pitch the protestors turned into the canvass for their weekend uprising might not satisfy their wish to fumigate the boardroom until every last stench of the Glazers is gone.
But it would represent a significant initial step in the restoration of a listed Broadway playhouse, one fallen into sorry disrepair, to its old bejewelled status as football’s Theatre of Dreams.
It might even empty the dockside warehouses of a first small shipment from the piled-high cargo of supporter grievances and resentment.